Thoughts from a wounded bird

saying good-bye

2012-02-07T21:55:00.000-06:00

I had to say good bye recently, but it's not what you think....it's wasn't to a human...it was to a pair of tennis shoes. Why do a blog entry on a pair of tennis shoes? Well it's because the tennis shoes was part of my recovery program.

When you spent as much time as I did in a hospital bed (a couple of months), two things begin to happen, one you almost forget how to walk and two, the muscles in your legs begin to waste away...well, when I was cleared to start my therapy to walk again, my mom had the brilliant notion of putting on a pair of sneakers on my feet when I would do my walking. .So she bought a pair of black sneakers which, instead of laces, had Velcro straps on them, so that I didn't have to spend time (and at times there wasn't a whole of time to be wasting time) tying and untying shoelaces. What the sneakers were was weight on the bottom of my feet, so I was not only learning how to walk again, but doing a small amount of weight training to rebuild the muscles in my legs.

Well, I grew so attached to the sneakers, that even when I got out of the hospital, I wore them even more than the sneakers that I had received in 2007 as a Christmas gift, I grew attached to them and got comfortable with them.

But with all sneakers, they finally started to fall apart a little and had to get a new pair of sneakers. But I haven't totally gotten rid of them, they still have a spot underneath the bed, because I can still wear them at home, and to be honest, I couldn't totally say goodbye to something that got me through my time in the hospital.....

Remembering

2012-01-10T17:34:00.000-06:00

Today, we held a funeral service at Fort Sam Houston for my mother's step-father, Trini DeSantiago, who went home to be with the Lord at the age of 94....there is nothing like the pomp and ceremony of a military ceremony.....

Tom Brokaw once wrote a book called "The Greatest Generation" talking of those who served their country during a time of war. Trini was one of those who ended up serving, but in a sense he and some others were what I would consider the greatest of the "Greatest Generation". The ones that I talk about were men such as Trini and other Hispanic and African-American men and women who served their country during World War 2. The reason I say that these were the greatest of that great generation was of the circumstance in which they lived.

You must remember that the 1940's were a different time than they are now. Being African-American, Mexican-American, or of other minorities meant prejudice, bigotry and "separate but equal" (which was not). It was easy for white men and women to spring to duty and be ready to serve. Things would be different, but mostly the same. But I believe that for men and women of minority groups to do so meant something different. They were willing to look beyond prejudice being put against them and yet be willing to serve their country and do their patriotic duty to be sure that victory was won.

And you must remember that even though they won the war, these men and women would go back to-in some places, a society that would continue to show prejudice against them. However, because of their service during the war, they showed that they were equal in valor and bravery and in a few years, these men and women would be the ones to fight another war in the next few decades, the war against prejudice and bigotry...it would take more time and more effort, but in the end that war would be won.

So Trini and to all who served, rest in peace and enter into the joy of the Lord, to whom there is no prejudice, bigotry and hatred....but love, joy, peace and the shelter of the arms of the Lord for all of you......

In, out or neither

2012-01-02T09:13:00.000-06:00

Today I was reading the morning paper, and as it is the 2nd day of the year, they have the "in and out' list....things that are considered "in" (trending, hip, etc...) and things that are out (items that have become "passe") and it's interesting how these things change from year to year. Things considered trending on January 2, 2011 are considered so..."(fill in the number) seconds ago" (a phrase I absolutely detest!).

But thinking about this, I am reminded of the words of the book of James: "For what is your life? It is a vapor (puff of smoke) that appears for a little while and then vanishes (dissolves into thin air) away." (James 4:14b). So what should the priority of us who are believers should be? If they had asked me about what should be "in" or "out" (and you know they never would), I would have responded...

OUT: Caring about what people think should be "in" or "out" (a shifting list based on shifting values)
IN: Being more like the Lord (a lifestyle based on values that never change)

Because when you get to the bottom line, what will matter and what will last for eternity-following the latest trend and adapting to the world's standards which change with the prevailing currents or following the commandments of God and leaving a legacy of lives made better and of more value?

When I was lying in in a hospital bed in the middle of 2008, it didn't matter what was in or out, neither was of any value to me, what was of value were those who came in and lifted my family up in prayer, who shared words of comfort, and all of that were based on the values that never change. So if you were to ask me if I was in or out, I would say neither, I would say that I am here for something of more worth.....

Something to think about in 2012

2011-12-31T21:03:00.000-06:00

In 3 hours and nine minutes (at least when I started this post) it will be the 2012.....and just a few seconds ago, I was looking at an older blog entry that had one of my favorite quotes from Chuck Colson:

"The role of the church is not to make men and women happy, it is to make them holy"

As we know, the church is not a building, but you and I who make up the church, individual beings living together in this world. So let me re enter the quote and make a substitution:

"The role of you and I is not to make men and women happy, it is to make them holy"

So the question then becomes, how can we make men and women holy, if we ourselves are not holy? So how do we become holy? I think the answer comes from Luke 9:23 "Then he said to them all 'If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny (to say no to something) himself , and take up his cross daily (emphasis mine), and follow Me." But let me quote the last half of that verse in The Amplified Bible: "conforming wholly to my example in living and if need be in dying also". In other words to follow the example the Lord gave in His life here on earth.

So if we are to take on the task of ministering to others in 2012, we need to first remember to take on the identity that we have been given: "Christ"ians. As it has been said: "Be ye holy, as I am holy"and to be holy we need to follow the example that Jesus gave and when we do that it becomes easier to make those that we come in contact with holy, because we will have given them the example of what it means to be a follow of Christ?

Will you make that your goal in 2012?

Hanukkah: Is It Really a Minor Festival?

2011-12-16T18:20:00.000-06:00

In a few days, Hanukkah or the "Fesitval of Lights" will be celebrated....as a believer who goes to a Messianic Jewish Congregation, the holiday has a more significant meaning than it might to most....the reason I say that is because if it were not for Hanukkah and the Lord saving the Jewish people through the Maccabees, then we would not have Christmas, Resurrection Sunday, et. al....As believers, we should have more of an appreciation for days such as this....especially if it was one that was observed by Jesus....

I included a article orginially written in 1984, but still holds a great amount of significance reminding us of what the holiday is.....Hanukkah: Is It Really a Minor Festival? - http://www.jewsforjesus.org/publications/issues/3_5/hanukkah/

Bashing Religion Just in Time for Christmas

2011-12-07T13:15:00.000-06:00

Instead of sharing my own words, I thought I would share the following; it was originally published last year, but I think that it bears repeating:

Bashing Religion Just in Time for Christmas

By Marcia Segelstein|Published Date: December 07, 2011

A former producer for CBS News, Marcia is an Anglican, a mom, and a reluctant rebel against the mainstream media, the Episcopal Church (and others who make up the rules instead of obeying them), and the decaying culture her children witness every day.

Aggressive atheism is rearing its anti-religious head again this pre-Christmas season. And this time it's more combative and belligerent than ever. This year we'll see the gospel of unbelief spread far and wide on billboards, in newspapers and magazines, and even on television.

The most expensive campaign is being launched by the American Humanist Association. Last year, the AHA was responsible for ads exhorting people to "Be Good For Goodness' Sake." This year, its advertising is much more pointed, and unapologetically negative. By its own description, the "Consider Humanism" campaign is intended to hit harder. "This year, we're going further in our attempt to challenge the intolerant view that atheist and agnostic humanists can't be good without Bible-derived morality. We're taking a hard look at what is included in religious texts,” according to the website devoted to the ad campaign. Scheduled to run in major newspapers such as USA Today, the San Francisco Chronicle and the Atlanta Journal Constitution, the AHA's ads will be made up of two parts. One will be a quote from the Bible or the Quran and will be marked with the words, "What some believe." The other part, identified as "What humanists think," will contain a quote from what the AHA calls "humanist documents."

For example, one ad will juxtapose this Bible verse from Hosea 13:16 with a quote from Albert Einstein: "The people of Samaria must bear their guilt, because they have rebelled against their God. They will fall by the sword; their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant women ripped open." Einstein's quote reads as follows: "I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty."

In another ad, Katharine Hepburn is quoted from a Ladies Home Journal article: "I'm an atheist, and that's it. I believe there's nothing we can know except that we should be kind to each other and do what we can for each other." The juxtaposed Bible passage quotes Jesus from the book of Luke: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters -- yes, even his own life -- he cannot be my disciple."

One ad on homosexuality will contrast the AHA's position affirming "sexual equality" and the legalization of same-sex "marriage" with the verse from Leviticus that calls the act of a man lying with another man "detestable."

American Atheists have come up with a billboard ad to run in the New York City area featuring a Nativity scene which reads, "You Know it's a Myth. This Season Celebrate Reason." According to The New York Times, "The idea of the campaign is to reach people who might go to church but are just going through the motions." David Silverman, the president of American Atheists, is quoted as saying, "We're going after that market share."

The Freedom From Religious Foundation, based in Madison, Wisconsin, has come up with what it calls the "Out of the Closet Campaign." In a dozen or so cities, billboards will feature regular folks proudly declaring their unbelief. One will feature a young woman named "Katie" holding a plate of cookies, wearing a "Godless Goddess" T-shirt, with the quote: "I like baking, biking & sleeping in on Sundays."

Bus ads by the United Coalition of Reason read "Don't Believe in God? Join the Club."

By all accounts this year's campaigns by atheists are, as David Gibson wrote for PoliticsDaily.com, "more explicit in their aims of converting believers and rallying nonbelievers."

I guess I just don't understand. Christians (along with Jews and Muslims) gather in groups to worship. Atheists don't gather not to worship, so why seek out members? What's there to be a member of? And why should atheists care about stopping worshippers who are just "going through the motions"? Do they think they might get their hands on money once pledged to churches?

Trying to tear down the belief system of the world's foremost religion -- Christianity -- is what seems intolerant to me. Placing prominent ads declaring the birth of Christ to be a myth seems downright hostile. To my mind, these campaigns feel defensive, as though atheists are weighted down with chips on their shoulders, or feel left out of some club.

Christians I know don't go around declaring that only fellow Christians can be good. And if they do, they're wrong.

Maybe Christians should launch a kinder, gentler campaign in response. They could quote Timothy Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC, from his book The Reason for God on the subject of common grace: "[E]very act of goodness, wisdom, justice, and beauty is empowered by God....He casts them across all humanity, regardless of religious conviction, race, gender or any other attribute to enrich, brighten and preserve the world."

God bless us, every one.

Another Christmas rant.....

2011-12-01T09:00:00.000-06:00

That's right folks....a rant....just thinking about the post: "What kind of tree?"
http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2011/11/what-kind-of-tree.html
and the decision another state did to name the Christmas tree a "holiday tree"....and it got me to thinking of what would happen to some of the songs that we sing around this time if the PC group had their way....maybe it would go something like this:

"O holiday tree, O holiday tree..."
"Go Tell it on the mountain, but make sure that you have permission from green groups"
"Have a holly, jolly, holiday season"
"I'll be home for the holiday season, you can count on me"
"I'm dreaming of a multicultural holiday season"
"Do they know it's the holiday season at all"
"Grandma got run over by a reindeer and is suing Santa for having his reindeer unattended"
"Simply having a wonderful holiday season time"
"Oh you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm tell you why...because the representation of Nicholas has hired the CIA to watch over you and he's coming to your town...."

see how silly it all is....But all of this is because they want to take the real meaning for the season out...and that is the birth of Jesus....by simply calling it a "holiday" in which there is no specificity and everyone can celebrate it, you water down the impact of the birth of the Messiah and what He came here to do...to borrow correctly from another song..."to save us all from satan's power when we had gone astray"...If there is no real reason for the season, then why celebrate it?

So either we celebrate "Christ"mas with Jesus as the focal point of the season that brings hope, or celebrate "warm fuzzimass" where there is no focus except for emotionalism (and trying to outfight everyone for that present that may not be necessary) that brings nothing....Don't know you, but I would rather have real hope than any present that people can buy....

The truth about Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T20:40:00.000-06:00

It's the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house, I am the only creature not stirring (or baking or cooking or whatever). However, I do know that there are knives being sharpened, but not for Thanksgiving turkey, but for Thanksgiving itself.....the PC crowd is getting ready with their barrage of comments about Thanksgiving....well when they do; you can hit them back....I came across this on Doug Phillip's blog (and I thank Adam McManus for letting me know about this link on the e-mail that he sends) entitled: Refuting the Seven Myths of the Radical Left About Thanksgiving http://www.visionforum.com/news/blogs/doug/2011/11/9747/

And if you look at more of the blogs that Doug has written for this week: http://www.visionforum.com/news/blogs/doug/ you learn a lot more that you may not have known about the Pilgrims http://vimeo.com/11756882 and what kind of people they were.....

Remember there is a war of values going on and the thing that will give you confidence is the truth and the truth will be that rock that you can stand on when the PC "hot air" surrounds you.....

Thanksgiving or money-making day?

2011-11-15T18:44:00.000-06:00

In 10 days here in the US, we celebrate Thanksgiving....however, more and more stories are appearing on how some stores will be opening their doors on Thanksgiving evening. It seems that in order to make more money, Thanksgiving Day has become just another day to make money....

The question is...is that all Thanksgiving has become...From the PC crowd bombarding us with message about we shouldn't really be celebrating because of what happened to the Native American tribes...to this, it seems that the true message of Thanksgiving has been lost....

Something from Wallbuilders (http://www.wallbuilders.com/libissuesarticles.asp?id=17984) about Thanksgiving that you may not know about.....(I'll put in some comments of my own)....
That summer, the Pilgrims, still persevering in prayer (wonder how many of us have a prayer service on Thanksgiving) and assisted by helpful Indians (wonder what the PC crowd would make of this?), reaped a bountiful harvest. As Pilgrim Edward Winslow (later to become the Governor) affirmed, “God be praised, we had a good increase of corn” (praising God? wonder what the ACLU would think?); “by the goodness of God (God mentioned twice in the same sentence? today the libs and PC crowd would call this guy a religious fanatic), we are far from want.” The grateful Pilgrims therefore declared a three-day feast (three days, can you imagine being allowed to eat that long, wonder what Michelle Obama would think?) in December 1621 to thank God and to celebrate with their Indian friends (that's friends, not victims PC crowd) – America’s first Thanksgiving Festival. Ninety Wampanoag Indians joined the fifty Pilgrims for three days of feasting (which included shellfish, lobsters, turkey, corn bread, berries, deer, and other foods [I'm just gaining weight thinking about that]), of play (the young Pilgrim and Wampanoag men engaged in races, wrestling matches, and athletic events), and of prayer. This celebration and its accompanying activities were the origin of the holiday that Americans now celebrate each November.

So how have we gone from three days of feast and prayer to half a day of stuffing your face and then going to the store and shopping? Have we really lost focus on what Thanksgiving REALLY is all about? Or maybe we have done to Thanksgiving what we have done to other holidays (holiday's root is "holy day") and removed what the focus originally was supposed to be on....something related to God....

So let us get back to the original meaning of Thanksgiving....a feast dedicated to thanking God for His blessings, maybe having a prayer service on that day....who knows maybe it can be a new tradition for your family...and at least on Thanksgiving do like Jesus did....drive out the money changers.....

What kind of tree?

2011-11-10T13:41:00.001-06:00

There has been controversy over the decision by Wisconsin's governor to change the name of the Christmas tree back to "Christmas tree" from "holiday tree"....the reaction of one group made me laugh out of pity....it was from an atheist group who said that changing the name back to Christmas tree was offensive to non-Christians....

If you look at that statement, you can see why I gave the pity laugh....the first being "holiday tree"....what holiday are you celebrating with a tree? Valentine's Day? St. Patrick's Day? Cinco De Mayo? There's only one holiday that is symbolized with a tree and that is Christmas...and secondly, what non-Christians celebrate Christmas??? If you're Jewish, you don't celebrate Christmas-If you're Muslim, you don't celebrate Christmas. And ESPECIALLY if you are atheist, you don't celebrate Christmas....

Unfortunately, all of this hullabaloo is because of the desire that some have to eliminate Christmas altogether...as least the "Christian" Christmas, keeping the peace on earth, goodwill to men and other emotions, but removing Christ from it in any way shape or form. Paul wrote about this well, when he mentioned to Timothy about mankind having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.

And a Messianic Gentile, I know that the birth of our Lord was more in the autumn months (maybe during the Feast of Tabernacles). And as a believer, I know that a lot of stuff about Christmas is over-commerialized and overblown and have nothing to do with Christ, but in the end we have to remember that Christmas is for remembering that Christ came to the earth and the reason that He came to the earth was to save us from sin....

So in the words of A Christmas Carol: "I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year".....no matter what kind of tree you have.....

95 theses

2011-10-31T11:44:00.000-05:00

http://www.conradaskland.com/blog/2008/11/martin-luthers-95-theses-in-latin-and-english/

Rather than celebrate a pagan holiday, October 31st should be remembered for something else.....On this date in 1517, Martin Luther posted on the door of the Castle Church of Wittenberg, Germany what is called "The Ninety-Five Theses" which objected to the Catholic church's use of the sale of indulgences,(remissions of temporal punishment due for sins which have already been forgiven-in essence, buying a "Get out of hell for a price" deal) and other abuses by the Catholic clergy. This was viewed as many as the start of what was called "The Protestant Reformation" in which there was a break from the Catholic church on many issues....especially in areas related to faith...

However, if you were to ask the modern-day church member what "The Ninety-Five Theses" were about, I doubt that many (than includes myself) would know about it...as a matter of fact, some might even think that when you say "Martin Luther", they would probably think "King"...The reason that I bring this up today is, how many of us know about the history of the church and the struggles that it went through....to remember is to appreciate, and to forget is to in a sense, "spit upon" the works of these men and women and take for granted the work that they do.....

I know to many history may be dull and unexciting, but if we do not learn where we come from, then
sooner or later, the foundations crumble and the house that we have built over the past 2,000 years just may crumble to dust.....

Question

2011-10-26T11:23:00.000-05:00

http://worldviewchurch.org/columns/featured-column/960-total-capitulation-the-evangelical-surrender-of-truth

As someone who is concerned about what is going on in reference to truth, I found this to be an interesting column by Albert Mohler...especially the first sentence: Evangelical Christians will either stand upon the authority and total truthfulness of the Bible, or we will inevitably capitulate to the secular worldview.

Pastor appreciation month

2011-10-02T10:49:00.000-05:00

This month (October) is Pastor Appreciation month....there are a couple of posts where I mention about what Pastors have done in my life....
http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/10/not-forgotten-man.html
http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2011/07/solid-thought.html

And I want to ask have you truly appreciated what your pastor (congregational leader) has done for you and the other members of your congregation? Do you really appreciate the hours spent preparing messages, visiting the sick, counseling, prayer, etc....and the fact that the scripture says in Hebrews 13:17:...for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account...."

Have you prayed for your congregational leader....at the end of this month, while the world focuses on the candy and "trick or treats", that those who follow the devil intensify their prayers and one of the main things that they pray for is for ministers to fail and fall? We know that we are all in a spiritual warfare...and as hard as it is for us, just imagine how much MORE harder the warfare is for pastors, for they have their own warfare to think of, but the warfare of those that are under them!

So let me suggest something (and not only during this month, but whenever you get the chance), go to your pastor or congregational leader and thank him for the ministry that he does in your life....maybe even take him out to eat or do something to let him know that his work is not in vain.

from testimony to byword?

2011-09-28T08:40:00.000-05:00

Tonight is Rosh HaShanah and this period is usually referred to as the "Days of Awe", during which a person looks at his life and inspects it. Which got me to thinking about a question....Are you still being a testimony in your life or are you being a byword in your life?

When the Lord was instructing the people just before they went into the land to possess it, He gave them a strong warning that they were to be a different type of people to be a testimony of who God was and how He wanted them to live. He also warned them about what would happen if they didn't and in Deuteronomy 28:27, He told them the following: "And you shall become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword among all nations where the Lord will drive you."

I had wondered why "byword" meant, so I looked it up in the Strong's concordance and it mentioned "'something sharp' like a jibe, taunt". Then I looked up "taunt" and it came up with: a sarcastic challenge or insult....in other words, the Lord was saying that if the people didn't follow His laws, they would end up being to other people an insult of God, which they could be sarcastic toward.

Now I think about it in my own life, I know that in 2008, I was a testimony of God's power and His saving grace, but after I left the hospital, I started slipping a bit (see the "Fat Man" blog posts) and started going down the path of living a life that was an insult to God rather than a cause for praise. And that is something that scares me...Now think about your life, are you being a praise to God by following His commands in your life or are you being an insult to Him by living your own life? What do others say when they see you, by the way that you live...does it attract them to God or does it make them be sarcastic toward God?

Look at your life now and see where you stand...it doesn't have to take a "high holy day" to do so, but look at yourself to make sure where you stand...are you on firm ground being a testimony or on shaky ground by being a byword?

9-11 ten years later

2011-09-10T22:58:00.002-05:00

As I write this it is only a few hours away from the 11th of September. What makes this September 11th different is that it is the 10th anniversary of the attacks on the United States. We will hear all the speeches and all the opinions from different people....of how we have changed as a nation and as a people. But the question is, have we changed spiritually since 9-11?

The reason that I ask this is that the mayor of New York City has prohibited prayer at the ceremonies commemorating what happened ten years ago...Why? At the ceremonies at the National Cathedral, there are representatives from all sorts of different kinds of faiths, but none from evangelical types of faith. Again, why? We have atheists attacking a cross made of two beams from the remains of the WTC....again I ask, why?

I remember after 9-11 churches were full and people were getting closer to God because they had seen the tragedy and knew that it was not only terrorism, but evil that had attacked us and people were growing closer to the One who defeats and will defeat all evil. But now, have we forgotten this faithful Friend who sticks closer to us than a brother? Have we gotten so complacent that we forget that evil still lurks in the heart of men everywhere? Do we believe that we no longer need God? It seems that the answer is that the majority have forgotten God...for if we had not, we as a nation and a people would not be"prohibiting" ourselves from seeking Him, seeking His wisdom and His guidance.

As we remember what happened on September 11th, even if the government won't allow it "officially", let us who are His fall upon our knees and ask God to protect us from evil and to turn our hearts as a people and a nation back to Him in true revival, so that this may never happen again....

Dear Heavenly Father: I pray at this time, as we remember what happened on September 11th, that we may be reminded that this attack was part of a spiritual war and that it was the forces of the evil one who attacked. Lord, we know that You have already defeated the evil one, but we ask that our hearts may return to You and Your covering so that we give no room for the evil one to attack again. May we who are called by Your name use this opportunity to bring true revival back to the United States. In the strong and mighty name of Jesus, we ask this, Amen.

perspective on tragedy

2011-09-05T09:43:00.000-05:00

Normally, I would be focusing on Labor Day, but there is something that I want to share that is close to my heart....as some may know we have had a severe drought here in Texas...and because of that we have had several fires break out. And fires are dangerous and tragic things, but I just found out today, that a family in our congregation has been forced from their home because of the fire.

Usually when you hear of tragedy, you think "how sad", but when it happens to someone you know; it becomes greater....in a sense to paraphrase C.S. Lewis... "Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf believer"....our prayers become deeper and more intense, our desire to help becomes more purer, our focus becomes more clearer....all of these things because we genuinely see that we are not isolated from anything, but that it can happen to us and to those that we love.....

So I hope that those who are reading this on the East and went through Irene, those of us here in the Southwest are going through the fires, that if we know someone that has been affected by either, that we who are their friends can have ourselves motivated to help in one way or another, so that we can be Jesus to them and that they can see that He is there, even in the midst of tragedy....

Where have I seen this before?

2011-08-19T18:55:00.000-05:00

The above question is usually asked when something happens that has happened before.....Well, while on an unrelated search for something for my message on the 27th...I came across something that verifies the old adage "Everything old is new again".....

In the book, Quotable Quotations, Lloyd Cory quotes Edward Gibbon, the author of The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, and Gibbons gives five major reasons that caused the decline and fall of the empire:

An undermining of the dignity and sanctity of the home, which is the basis for human society.
Higher and higher taxes, and spending public money for free bread and circuses for the populace.
A mad craze for pleasure, with pastimes becoming every year more exciting, brutal, and immoral.
Building great armaments, although the real enemy was within-the decay of individual responsibility.
Decay of religion-faith fading into mere form, losing touch with life and losing power to guide the people.

Now Gibbon wrote his book in the 1770's and he was talking about the Roman Empire, but if you look at the above, to some it may seem that he is talking about the 21st century West:

How often do we see the "traditional" family ridiculed today? In countries like Germany and Sweden, prosecution comes against those who try to homeschool their children and in Sweden's case, they have even taken a child away from their parents to be raised by the state. We see marriage reduced to two people who love each other; no matter the persuasion.
We see our taxes raised and raised almost yearly and where does it go? Welfare, social security, programs for art and culture; etc...(and woe to the politican who tries to take a stand against lowering the benefits) and many have gotten addicted to these governmental benefits, making no effort whatsoever to free themselves from the addiction....
Need more evidence....watch your televison sets and see what the programming offers; go to the movies (If you saw the blog entry "Darker?" http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2011/07/darker.html, then you know I'm talking about)...Would we have even tolerated a "Jersey Shore", "Desperate Housewives", etc....a generation ago???
Some liberals may say "yea" about the armaments, but how about taking care of things in society, like gangs, abortion, homelessness, drugs, etc.... and I'm not talking about spending money on them, but taking care of them BEFORE they even happen???
And the church? Is it still the church? What is eminiating from the pulpits....I wrote earlier about the teaching that I recieved growing up in the church http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2011/07/solid-thought.html; is it still being taught? Or have we become a oasis for people to come and feel good about themselves and be entertained.....Do we remember as Chuck Colson has said: "The role of the church is not to make men and women happy, it is to make them holy"? Do we preach Jesus as Savior who died for our sins or are we afraid to offend?

We all know how the Roman empire ended...being swallowed by the barbarians,...if we don't change what kind of barbarians will swallow us up? Will it be the "muslim barbarians", the "chinese barbarians", the "secular barbarians"? If we don't turn around, future generations may study us the same way we did the Romans and wonder "Where have I seen this before?"

Darker?

2011-07-31T11:32:00.000-05:00

I had planned on doing a post on my spiritual birthday (which is today-31 years!), but then I saw something that grabbed my interest....it was an article on AOL that asked the question: ""What's Hollywood Trying to Tell Us?" about the summer movies now becoming "darker"....and it got me to thinking....maybe it's not the movies that have gotten "darker", but the people behind the movies that have become that way...and that the movies are just a reflection of their darker attitude....

You see...the darker attitude that I talk about comes about with the rejection of the Truth, which brings true satisfaction and peace into people's lives...and when that happens; people look for something to fill the void...such as sex, alcohol, drugs, etc....and the problem is that usually those things both don't fill the void and end up destroying the person.....and in those cases where the person is not destroyed; they still feel empty no matter how "happy" they feel and look on the outside. So what happens then? They then try go "harder" and "darker" in order to fill that need, the problem...the further away you get from the Truth the emptier you become and those "harder" and "darker" things don't satisfy and the vicious cycle begins again....The other thing that happens is that a "callous" starts to form, keeping them from the Truth and rejecting it in every form.....

The cycle continues until one of two things happen, total destruction that is beyond repair or the callous gets ripped off and the person comes to the truth.....But what is true of a person who goes through this cycle is true of a nation...If you notice in the 1960's we decided to reject the Truth in many different ways....and decided to "experiment" with many different things to try to give us a feeling of euphoria and feeling of peace....However if you look at the results of said "experiments", they have failed and we are reaping the results of those failures....So what did we do? We fulfilled a saying that I grew up with: "What one generation allows in moderation, the next excuses in excess"....

The things that "satisfied" in the 1960's didn't "satisfy" the people of the 80's, so they decided to go further in their "experimentation"....and now we are reaping the results of those failures, and the "callous" started to form against the Word, Truth, etc...(of course, we [believers & the church] didn't help when our focus started going toward being entertained, our leaders got involved in financial and sexual scandals, etc....) And now the cycle continues here in the early 21st century...the things that "satisfied" in the 80's, don't do the "job" now and the time that was before the rejection of God has been ridiculed and thought of as being from "another world".....And the callous has gotten harder...anytime one tries to bring up the Truth (or "truth-lite" that is taught in a lot of churches today), they are ridiculed, called names, their intelligence is questioned, etc....(and we don't help things when we compromise with the world, teach doctrine that has nothing to do with the Word [thinking of a congregation in Kansas], etc...)

So there is going to come a time soon where one of two things are going to happen....either this country (secular and spiritual) is going to have to rip the callous off....or we are going to face total destruction....the choice is ours, which one are we going to choose?

A solid thought

2011-07-17T13:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the reunion of all of the people from the old San Antonio Bible Center (later Church) and in the midst of all the fun, revelry, and catching up, came something that was best said by Lee Patton, and that was it is getting rarer that we are having solid Biblical teaching being brought from the pulpit...and now that I look back over the past 30 years of my Christian walk, I find that in all the churches that I have been a member of, there has been one constant, and that is solid Biblical teaching being brought from the pulpit...

I don't remember any "entertainment" or "things that please itching ears" ever being brought by Richard Haynes at San Antonio Bible Church, by Pastor Diaz at Theo Avenue Baptist Church, or by Randy Shapiro at Beth Simcha....all that was brought was solid teaching brought from the Word of God. Now there may have been a difference in style of bringing the Word, but never a difference in the fact that it WAS the Word of God being taught....

And you know, thinking about it, maybe it was because of these influences, that whenever I am privileged to bring the Word, that it is solid teaching that I choose to do....like I said, it may be in a different style than the men I mentioned, but when it comes down to it, what is most important is that it is the WORD that is brought forth; not my opinion or what I think people want to hear, but what the WORD says that people need to hear.

And also, had I been "entertained" or catered to, I don't really believe I would have survived 2008...I probably would have been angry at God, maybe suicidal...who knows, but because I was on a firm foundation of teaching....the winds may have blown, but I was not blown over....so thank you all who remained faithful to solid teaching!

And my advice is that if you are reading this and are not getting solid Biblical teaching....get to a place that does....so that your faith will become firm and be able to stand against the winds of change, doubt and crisis.....

Reunions

2011-07-08T23:38:00.000-05:00

In the next two weeks or so I will be attending two reunions...on the 16th I will be attending a gathering of old friends from San Antonio Bible Church (the first church that I ever attended....has it really been 30 years????) and then on the 30th I will be attending the 20th anniversary of CBS, my current home congregation...in which we should have some of the old CBS people stopping by.....

But this is just a warm-up for the ultimate reunion, when all of us gather before the throne of Jesus and have a celebration such as never having been seen....just think of all the people that will be there and stories that we will be listening to.....from those who everyone will want to hear from, Peter, Paul, John and the other disciples, to people that we knew-in my case men like Richard Haynes (my first pastor), Doug Kuehn, Michael Adler (who just went to be home with the Lord last week), Billy Ray Thomas, etc...

And the great thing is that unlike those other reunions, I won't have to wear a name tag so that people would remember me....we all will be known as we are known....and the other thing is that we won't have to worry about pains, bad eyesight, memory loss etc....because as it says in Revelation: "the former things (all of the stuff that we are going through now) have passed away....What joy is that!

and to get you ready for it....here is "Family Reunion" by DeGarmo and Key....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDrLhgBPxSg

being still

2011-06-20T09:41:00.000-05:00

Last week I was on vacation, visiting my sister who was graduating from culinary school. So my parents and I drove up to DC to see her graduate and to have her come back with us. And while we were traveling through Tennessee and Virginia, we drove through some of the most wonderful country (outside of my home state of Texas) and I was pleased that we weren't rushing through it and taking time to see the majesty of God's creation.

The question that I get from that is how often do we slow down and take time to see the majesty of God's creation? First off, there is the fact that you are alive, breathing, etc...that is part of the majesty of God's creation...The fact that there is a sunrise and sunset...part of the majesty of God's creation....to those who are parents, how about your children? Part of the majesty of God's creation....

How often do we pass by the majesty of God's creation because we are so busy with our lives....every once in a while follow the advice of the Psalmist...."Be still and know that I am God" and by knowing that He is God and He created all things and keeps them in balance, shouldn't that deepen your appreciation and worship of God?

Memorial Day

2011-05-28T17:38:00.000-05:00

This coming Monday in the United States is Memorial Day, where we honor those who have sacrificed themselves in their country's services....you know, when I was younger and Memorial Day was mentioned, I would think of older people, such as my father's uncle, who served in the Navy during the Second World War and Korea (I remember going over to his house and going through the old VFW magazines...).

But now I am the older people and when I think of Memorial Day now, I think of my brother who served in the First Gulf war and others and seeing how so many of them are YOUNGER than I am and how some of them will never even live to 1/2 of the age that I am right now....

But the same thing is in both generations, and that is the willingness to volunteer to fight for the rights of their countries and other countries that either do not or never had the freedoms that we take for granted in this country and to borrow from Lincoln...to give the last full measure of devotion.....the sacrifice of their lives.

We honor them because of this and rightfully so, but where did that desire to give their lives come from? It is very simple, it is found in the words of Jesus, who not only said these words, but would in the next day after He said them would example them in giving the last full measure of His devotion in giving His life for an entire world....Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)....the desire to give ourselves for one another comes from the example of Christ on the cross and shows that divine spark which is in each and every one of us, whether we choose to accept it or not.....

And that is what I pray that we will remember on Memorial Day....those who gave their lives for their country and for others....and the example from which it comes from....

elections and God

2011-05-19T16:14:00.000-05:00

No- this will not be one of those blog entries where I pound political beliefs...but rather pound something spiritual.....

Saturday was the elections here in San Antonio for our mayor and city council, so I woke up at 6:45 (a little earlier than usual) and walked all the way from my house to the voting places and all the way back (actually I got there so early that I was the first one to vote in my precinct).

But on the way back, I began to think....its interesting that I got up earlier than usual to perform a civic duty (which is very important, I encourage you to vote, no matter how you lean), but how often do I get up early to do something which is not a duty, but rather a privilige; namely spending time with God in prayer and reading His Word?

David wrote in the Psalms "O God, Thou art my God; early will I seek Thee." (Pslam 63:1). And we also read of Jesus.."And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, He went out and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.".....Now if spending time in the early part of the day praying and seeking God was important to David and to Jesus, how important is it for us to do so as well?

I remember that while in the hospital; one of the first things that I would do is spend time in the word and I believe that is one of the things that would allow me to get through the rest of the day, becuase I would have my mind adjusted and given a fixed focus on the relative unimportance of everything else in comparison to God.

So if you get a chance, get up early and seek after God in prayer and in His Word....it is a choice more important than any political ballot you may fill out......

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T13:12:00.001-05:00

Last year, I wrote about my mother....http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/05/mom.html

But I ask....how is your relationship with your mother? How do you remember her? One of the great things that I have seen this week on Facebook is how many of my friends there are putting pictures of their mothers on their profile page. That shows me how many of them had a close relationship with their mothers and remember all that they did for them.

And how about grandmothers and (in my mother's case) great-grandmothers....? To be able to share what they have learned and the experiences that they went through; sharing them to be able to help their sons and daughters raise their children.....

Being a mother is the hardest job that I can think of and they do it all alone in most cases....so let's appreciate and remember our mothers not only today, but every day!

National Day of Prayer

2011-05-05T14:56:00.000-05:00

Today is the National Day of Prayer here in the United States....and while many of us have been or will be on our knees today...there are some who mock, ridicule or don't believe in prayer; deciding to trust in reason....well, I just thought I would provide a link to an earlier blog entry to let people know what I think about "reason".....

http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/04/no-reason-at-all.html

Yom Hashoah

2011-05-01T11:42:00.000-05:00

This evening marks Yom HaShoah...Holocaust Remembrance Day...actually my friend Chad Elliott says it better than I can in his blog entry..http://chadelliott.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/never-forget/

The key word however is Remembrance "to remember"...Remembring gives us the opportunity to teach the next generation of the things that happened, of the lessons learned, of testimonies of friends and loved ones...it helps us to combat the naysayers with proof of the things that happened, it helps us to keep the memories of loved ones alive, so that they never really die....

So on this day of remembrance, I encourage you to visit a Holocaust museum (if there is one near you) or go online and learn of these things so that the words "NEVER AGAIN" will not just be a slogan, but something that will be part of your life....

Resurrection Sunday message at 1:30 a.m.

2011-04-24T10:32:00.000-05:00

Last night, there was a party going on....one of those last until 2:00 a.m., loud music, loud people, etc...type of parties that I absolutely detest with every fiber of my being....And as annoying as those parties are on normal weekends, this one touched my "Pharisee" side because it was this weekend, the weekend that we remember the resurrection of the Lord. And the reason I say it touched the "Pharisee" side of me because I was thinking..."Don't you know what this weekend is? Why are you celebrating with loud parties and drinking?"

But then something happened that can only come from the Lord, because it happened at 1:30 a.m. in the morning, right when I was getting ready to finally fall asleep with pillows covering my ears....the pillows may have been covering my ears and shutting out the noise from outside, but it didn't shut out the still small voice of God.

He spoke to me in two ways....First, He reminded me that they probably didn't know the Lord, even if it were a "holy weekend"; they still were in their "normal" unsaved state and don't know Him....and then 2nd and the shot to my "Phariseeism"...the question was: "Yes, you know what today is about, but what are YOU doing about it? Are you sharing it with those unsaved people? Are you being joyous in spite of the loudness by knowing that you have eternal life with God? Are you praying for them that they will come to know Jesus as Savior? Is your heart broken that they don't know me?".....

So while I am still annoyed at the parties that go on and "disturb my sleep", I think the Lord has shown me how to turn lemons into lemonade by turning that which annoys me into something that can be used for spiritual motivation......

Earth day vs Good Friday

2011-04-22T12:04:00.000-05:00

I had planned on writing a post on a little talked aspect of the Resurrection, but then something has caught my eye.....

Today on the calendar is "Earth Day"...where everyone "celebrates" the earth and tries to propagandize us into conserving and re-cycling and saving the planet for future generations. While I believe in conserving and being a proper steward of the resources that God has given to us, there is something that is worth saving more than the earth.....

And that is what is also being noted today....the day that is called "Good Friday"...what is so good about the crucifixion of one who was innocent and taught such wonderful things you may ask...? Very simple, it is the culmination of the plan God had to redeem mankind from the time Adam sinned in the Garden. Jesus even talked about it when He was talking with Nicodemus in John chapter 3....

When Jesus said in verse 16 (the verse many of us are familiar with): "For God so loved the world..."; he was not talking about the planet but rather the people on that planet that He created; that is why "He sent his only begotten son, that whosoever (you and me) believes in Him should not perish (die by being separated from God forever), but have everlasting life (life together with God forever)." That is what gave me hope in the hospital...that is what comforted me at the funeral of my friend Felix; that is what we should celebrate today....because while the earth eventually one day will perish...the life that we have together will never perish!

clean, clean, clean

2011-04-14T12:42:00.000-05:00

In a few days Passover will begin...and one of the things that takes place is that the house is cleaned and all leaven(items with yeast)products are removed from the house...

When we take of the Lord's supper we are encouraged to " let a man examine himself, and then let him eat of that bread and drink of that cup. (1 Cornithians 11:28)" and the word "examine" in the Greek means "to throughly examine"....in other words, to throughly examine himself before they took of the Lord's supper......

But the emphasis in both is the sense of being clean.....In the Bible, leaven was a symbol of sin and impurity, therefore it was to be removed so that the house would be cleaned and worthy of celebrating the Passover Seder.....And when we take of the Lord's supper, it is the same, the reason we need to throughly examine ourselves is to make sure that we are clean and that we are worthy of taking of the body and blood of the Lord...in the next verses of 1 Corninthans 11, Paul warns of the consequences of what happens when one doesn't examine himself and partakes of the Lord's supper.

I remember well the emphasis on cleanliness while I was in the hospital...people who had illnesses couldn't come in to visit me and I remember there were times where people had to come in with masks and robes because I had an illness that the doctors and others didn't want me to give to others....

Now if the doctors and others would take care to make sure that everything was clean and making sure that disease didn't spread...what about us? Are we making sure that we are clean, getting rid of all the things that are not of God in our lives? We have to remember that things that we have in our lives that are not of God can spread to other people and infect them as well; things like bad attitudes, gossiping, etc...

So if we are to be children of God and examples of Him to other people, we have to make sure that we have that we are the best ones possible. So each day, let us take a spiritual "bath" by examining ourselves against the Scriptures to make sure that we are clean, being a fresh aroma to others, not a garbage heap.....

warning

2011-04-07T23:11:00.000-05:00

You know, it's interesting what the Lord puts on my mind when I am at the DGD (for those who are new that is the Diabetes and Glandular Disease Clinic)...for my check-up...maybe it was because of the fact that I hadn't done as much for my health as I should, or for another reason, but the following verse came to mind:

James 4:17 (Complete Jewish Bible) "So then, anyone who knows the right thing to do and fails to do it is committing a sin".

So often, we hear about the things that we should not be doing that we forget that there are things that we ARE supposed to be doing. God plainly commands us through His word with commandment after commandment of how we are to be as believers...and yet for whatever reason we choose NOT to do them? How crazy is that?

And lest we think that it is "no big deal" comes this verse that comes directly from the mouth of God...that if we fail to do His commandments, it is SIN! Samuel, when he confronted Saul, said the same thing:

1 Samuel 15:22b-23a (Complete Jewish Bible): "Surely obeying is better than sacrifice, and heeding orders than the fat of rams. For rebellion (failing to obey) is like the sin of sorcery (some translations may have "witchcraft") and stubborness (wanting to do things our way) like the crime of idolatry." (Side note: I love the way in the CJB the word sin is rendered "crime" because when we do something against the Lord isn't it like committing a crime, and crime has to be punished...)

So before we start condeming others for their sins of commission, let's make sure that we aren't committing the crimes of omission.....that is why Paul tells us that before we take of the body and blood of the Lord, "let a person examine (in the Greek, the meaning was "thoroughly examine") himself first" (1 Corninthians 11:28).

Diabetes testing

2011-03-29T11:44:00.000-05:00

As one who suffers from diabetes and has had to make some changes to his life, just want you as a reader to make sure that you are safe, so if it possible go to this link and take the test to see if you are at risk for this disease.....

http://stopdiabetes.diabetes.org/site/PageServer?pagename=SD_homepage

It is better to take time out now and check yourself out and prevent disease than have to fix yourself after the disease has broken out....

A thought on the third anniversary

2011-03-13T13:42:00.002-05:00

Today is the 3rd anniversary of when my appendix burst, the day that I almost died (because I see on the Aetna insurance papers that I downloaded the words "Heart Failure" which is usually one step before they do the "pronounce the time of death" and put the toe tag on you). But the question one may ask is why....why were you kept alive?

And the answer came to me from above when I was sharing my testimony yesterday....and it was so simple.....

TO MAKE CHRIST KNOWN!!!!

By being kept alive, it is an opportunity to share the Gospel with those who don't know Christ (making Christ known), to be a testimony to others (making Christ known), to let others know that there is healing (making Christ known)....others may argue "What about the doctors, etc...?" Let me give you a word from Dr. John Metersky...the surgeon who performed the operations on me. He told me once that he had never seen anyone as messed up as I was...When the doctors admit that and yet I am still here, it is not medicine, but God....

So to my brothers and sisters in Christ, I ask the following question....How are you making Christ known? It may not have to deal with a big testimony or a major miracle...it can be in the ordinary everyday way you live your life, raise your children, do your job, etc....Are you making Christ known to neighbors, co-workers, friends, etc....If not, start doing so today!

seatbelt warnings and the Holy Spirit

2011-03-11T01:00:00.003-06:00

Just this Saturday, I had the opportunity to spend some time with our congregational leader Randy Shapiro. It was a wonderful time of food and fellowship, something that I don't get to do as much as I should. There was one thing, though that struck me as funny/thoughtful and that was the warning sound that was made when the seat belt was not put on.

Now the seat belt sound was a warning to put something on that could save your life and make sure that nothing happened to you. That is what seat belts were designed to do. Who knows how many lives would have been saved if people would just take a few seconds out of their time to put on a seat belt?

Well spiritually we have the same kind of thing that gives us a warning. It is called the Holy Spirit...the third person of the Trinity. What the Spirit does is gives us warnings that could save our lives spiritually and make sure that nothing happens to us. He reminds us that we are in a war and we need to put our armor given to us by God (Ephesians 6:10-18), reminds us when we going the wrong direction (John 16:7-11), gives us direction from God (John 14:26). The key, however is for us to take time and take heed to what the Spirit is trying to tell us.

Who knows how many lives spiritually speaking would be saved if people to listen to the Holy Spirit and would just take time to make the adjustments that He directs? So when you hear the "warning sound" of the Holy Spirit, pay attention! It could just save your life!

giving notes of thanks

2011-03-09T22:45:00.001-06:00

Sometimes you have a problem about not having enough things to write about....in my case today, I had too many---there were about three or four ideas for blog posts to write about. But at about 8:30 this evening, I had my mind made up for me. On Sunday is the third anniversary of my appendix blowing out, and I wanted to write a note of appreciation to the surgeon who God used...Dr. John Metersky.

But while I was writing my card expressing my gratitude toward him, God also prompted me to write a note of appreciation to the folks over at Lifecare Hospital, who were the ones who handled my long-term care. Dr. Flores who was on staff at the time; showed graciousness and compassion and was a ray of sunshine every time she came in. The nursing staff also was gracious not only to me, but also to my parents as well. And the most important group there was the PT group (led by Charles Robinson) who got me back on my feet and out the door....

But the question remains...how often do we write, phone, e-mail (whatever form of communication you use) the people that God has used in your life? In October, I wrote a blog entry (http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/10/not-forgotten-man.html) about the pastor that God used to bring me to where I could hear the Gospel and believe in Jesus as my Savior. But there are so many more:
-my uncle Jesse Gonzalez, who said "Yes" to God's vision in seeing his in-laws coming to know Jesus as Savior
-Dale Daffin, who was the one who shared the Gospel with me....
-Jim Eng, who was my first youth pastor
-Jonathan Godsey, who as minister to the children at SABC, allowed me to bring object lessons, which was my first experience at teaching...
-to those at Theo Avenue Baptist Church who allowed me to chance to sharpen my skills by teaching in their classes....
-and to Randy Shapiro and all those at Beth Simcha who have been gracious in allowing me to minister there as greeter, PowerPoint person, in bringing messages there, and in becoming a shammash....

So if you have had the opportunity to thank the people in your life who either led you to the Lord or allowed you to become a better believer, do so while you have the opportunity and let them know that " knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 15:58 NKJV)

sitting in the lobby

2011-02-17T18:21:00.002-06:00

On Monday, I was at the DGD (Diabetes and Glandular Disease) clinic having my blood work done and waiting to see my nurse-practitioner Karen Scott when I was sitting in the lobby/foyer of the clinic and there was a couple of observations that was put upon my heart while I was waiting....

What being a diabetic has reminded me of:

The need to help others-As I was in the clinic, I noticed all sorts of people walking in and out for their appointments...

-the young and attractive
-The elderly and those who had been through life
-People who brought their families with them

However they all had the same affliction and the same need...and it is the same way here in the world. We see people everyday and they have the same affliction (sin) and the same need (a Savior-someone to take care of them) and the question is to borrow from Jesus' parable of the Good Samaritan....Are we like the priest and Levite who went on the other side of the road or are we like the Samaritan who didn't care about cultures and differences, but took pity on the person and cared for the person and provided for them? There is a saying....

People will not care how much we know until they see how much we care.

Do others know how much we care, can they see Jesus who was the ultimate example of caring for others needs and afflictions? And if not, why? Have we gotten too hard of heart or too busy to care? If so, then let's slow down, lets break down that hardness and see that there is a world of people who will never know what Jesus is REALLY like until they see it in us.

The need to take care of myself-

I have admitted in several blog entries to the war that I am fighting against "The Fat Man" (my name for my old nature) and to the fact that at times, I have actually sabotaged myself, by "aiding and abetting" the enemy, by giving in. However, there is a cost to giving in and that is eventual damage to my health leading to death. And it is the same thing spiritually...when we give in to the devil and his temptations there are costs that we may not see at the time, but the will eventually come. The damage to our spiritual health will be in listening less and less to the Father, less time in prayer and fellowship, and going back to our old lifestyle which eventually causes death.

However, if I take care of myself and get my self in shape, I can counter the effects of diabetes and live a longer life and not as much medication. It is the same spiritually, when we take care of ourselves by being in the Word and spending time in prayer, being in fellowship with other believers who are able to help us; we are able to be stronger and counter the schemes and plans of the enemy, which leads to a longer and stronger spiritual life and not have need of "feel good" medication.

But as with everything, God doesn't dictate to us what to do, He leaves us the choice of what to do...so to borrow from Chuck Swindoll....."Choose for Yourself!"

Valentine's Day

2011-02-11T12:13:00.000-06:00

On Monday it will be the most over-hyped day of the year....Valentine's Day. It's not that I am not a romantic, but this day overemphasizes only one type of love. And then of course, millions of dollars are spent (and made by merchants) by people to pursue this one type of love. And it starts in the school and works its way up from there.....

Now some might say "Edward, are you writing this because you didn't get a Valentine's Day card at school?" or "Are you writing this because you are 45 and single (hmmm....sounds like a TV show that was on a few years back)". No, I am writing this because there seems to be little or no mention of the best type of love that there is...

We are told that there are three types of love in the Greek:

Eros: the kind of love of man for a woman (the one that is over-hyped)
phileo: the kind of love that you have from a deep friendship
and finally agape: the unselfish esteem of the object that is loved.

This final type, agape, is the one that describes the type of love that God the Father showed toward us. As it says in Romans 5:8-"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Just think about that, "while we were still sinners"! While there was nothing in us that commanded that the Creator of the universe should come down and rescue us. Christ did not have to die for us, He could have very well allowed us to be separated from Him for all eternity. Yet he chose to endure the cross to pay for the redemption of all mankind. He even did it for those; who in this age that we live in, mock Him, ridicule Him, water down His message or try to make it fit their agenda, don't believe in Him, or don't want anything to do with Him.

Just think about that, a love so great, that it is willing to lay down it's own life for someone that they don't know....and is willing to give that gift of redemption for free, if we just ask? Just think about it...free (the thought of giving something for free would make a merchant's head explode). And without great hype and commercialism....(which would make promoters and ad executives cringe).

So while you are all out there, buying your expensive perfumes, candies, etc....I hope that you make room in your heart for the one type of love that will outlast all of that stuff. The Greatest Valentine Day's gift every given: The sacrifice of Jesus on the cross to pay for our sins for all time.....

a year of bird blogging

2011-01-31T11:40:00.000-06:00

This is not going to be a deep entry...I just noticed that this blog has turned one year old. And in that one year there has been 56 (as of this entry) entries, some viewed and responded to and some just viewed. And I have no problem with either...the one thing that I found very interesting is the fact that there were a couple of views from people in other countries.

It used to be that if I wanted to speak to other countries, I would have to either have a "pen pal" (for those of you that are younger and don't understand this term; it's when you used to write letters back and forth to a friend that was from another place) or have to run up expensive phone bills to talk to them. Now however, with the internet; I can talk with, share thoughts with, and communicate thoughts and experiences with people from not only all over the United States, but throughout the world.

So when things are used in a good way, technology and other things such as these blogs can be very beneficial to mankind in general; however it is when it is used for evil or other such excesses that it becomes a threat to humanity. It is not because of the technology, but rather the heart, mind and soul behind it that causes it to be either beneficial or harmful to mankind. That is what so many fail to understand; that even if we were to live in a perfect "Utopia", there will still be the threat of something that can destroy it, because we have never learned how to permanently tame the savage heart of man.

But notice I said "we", when I say that I mean we as humans, because we as humans can get around the programming and training used to calm us down. There is only one way to tame our savageness and that is though the sacrifice of the cross and what Jesus did for us. And in the end, when all is said and done, I hope that this blog has been a way to point to Him and His work, not only in my life, but also in the lives of others.

tribute to a friend

2011-01-28T16:56:00.003-06:00

On Wednesday evening, my family lost a dear friend when Felix Castillo went home to be with the Lord. His testimony and what he went through was something that the Lord used; for it makes what I went through look like a bed of roses.

Felix was a up-and-coming boxer who had won the regional Golden Gloves title in 1978. He was also going to be on the United States boxing team in 1980 when President Carter boycotted the Moscow Olympic games. From there; he had gone undefeated in 22 professional bouts and was well on his way to a world title shot when he contracted lupus, which basically destroyed his career. (To learn about lupus; go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupus). At that time the doctors only gave him two months to live...however the Lord helped him to win the biggest bout of all, during that time Felix called on the Lord and was delievered out of his bed. He fought a few more times, but then decided that the work of the Lord was more important.

Was it easy for him? Not quite, he then went through a kidney transplant, left and right hip replacements and three heart attacks (things I cannot imagine going through) and yet continued to give his testimony and shared what the Lord had done through him. While he was at Theo Avenue Baptist Church, I got to know him and become somewhat of a good friend of his. And now he is home....

Whereas he may not have won a championship"title" while here on the earth, he now has something much more valuable than that, something that can never be taken away. And while the trophies and titles may rust away, he has something of greater worth: the presence of the Lord, a home worth more than all the mansions of titleholders combined, and a body that will never betray him or fall to any disease. Felix, may the Lord bless you on your journey Home and bless you with the words, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

Some thoughts on the birth of a baby boy

2011-01-24T20:58:00.000-06:00

For the second time in 9 months, I am a grand-uncle...Jacob Albert Lozano Jr. (or simply known as JJ by my sister and me) made his presence into the world at 12:13 p.m. this afternoon. As with his older sister, I have a goal that I need to get to, a goal that I stated in an earlier blog entry... (see http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/04/grand-uncle.html)

But seeing the newest member of my family got me to thinking about a story that was in the news last week. In that story, they arrested a man who killed babies who had survived abortions with scissors. This article just sickened me to death thinking about such a thing being done. I wrote an article last year mentioning what I think about abortion (see http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/01/real-date-that-will-live-in-infamy.html) and let me emphasize my point even further by mentioning that anyone who practices this procedure should no longer be called "Doctor", because they are no longer in the practice of saving lives, but of ending them before they even begin.

I remember my time in the hospital and if the doctors there were as committed to death there as this man was, then I would be part of the ground of San Fernando Cemetary. If the first part of being a doctor is the phrase "First do no harm", then why is that some have decided to harm? It seems oxymoronic to me that people commit themselves to this kind of task and that others would consider unborn children "non-people" and abandon this first ideal of not doing harm....

So as I look at the picture of Jacob and see the continuing growth of Kayla,

I recommit myself to the end of this grisly practice and hope that one day when birth or adoption are the norm rather than death.....

some thoughts of what happened in Arizona

2011-01-11T16:47:00.009-06:00

I apologize for the fact that it has been eleven days into 2011 and I have not done a entry....but I have some thoughts on what happened this weekend in Arizona....

The first thought I have is rejoicing over the continual healing of Congresswoman Giffords. Just today I am hearing the good news that she is breathing on her own. Having gone through that struggle in 2008 (and needing a tracheotomy to help breathe); I can only say that it is so wonderful that he is breathing and is recovering step by step. I can only imagine what her family is going through, it is probably the same struggles that my family went through. If so, I pray that people will come and stand by her family's side and support them in whatever way they can.

The second thought is about the prejudice that many have shown in this matter. For years we have screamed about tolerance and equality and in less than a week we celebrate the life of a man who stood for true tolerance and peace. Yet it fit some to smear and label all people who stood against them even before all the facts were in. Have we strayed so far from Dr. King's ideals that we no longer recognize them?

Third thought...as bad as those on one side are, those on the other are just as guilty and by that I mean Westboro "Baptist" "Church"...I cannot believe that you will use the funeral of a NINE year old girl to publicize your agenda...I have written about them before- http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/04/support-snyders.html -and cannot comprehend how those who claim the name of Jesus can act in such a un-Christlike manner...Do they think that when they stand before the judgement seat that the Lord will approve of the actions that they have performed? I don't think so, I actually think that the Lord will condemn them the same way He did the Pharisees. It is time for these people to use the items that the Lord has given (a brain and common sense) and realize that what they are doing is keeping people away from the Kingdom.

There is a song that says "Clowns to left of me, Jokers to the right...Here I am stuck in the middle with you".....after seeing the last few days I think that is where I am finding myself today...but hopefully that middle is where I am closest to God and if not, I pray that He may give me the wisdom to know which way to move.....

resolutions?

2010-12-30T16:55:00.004-06:00

In 30 or so hours (here in South Central Texas), it will be the year 2011. One of the most popular things associated with the start of the Gregorian New Year is the idea of making resolutions....

However, I have a problem with resolutions. If you break the word down, you'll understand what I mean....
"re"-again
"solutions"-the act of solving a problem, question, etc....
So resolution means..the act of solving a problem, question, etc...again.

See what I mean...you are trying to solve the same problem that you had the year before (and probably failed to do), with the same solution (which will either fail you or you will not do after a certain point)in your wisdom and strength. There is a funny definition of insanity...doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. In a sense resolutions are an expression of insanity disguised as trying to make ourselves better.

So then if not resolutions, then what should I do for the New Year, you say? Well first of all, you have to admit that in your own strength, you cannot do that much....that you need a power greater than yourself in order to do something. That is why we as believer should turn to God to be able to make sure that our plans meet with his approval. Psalms 37:4-5 gives us an word of advice from the Lord which is always good for us to remember:
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.

So if you don't want to have a year of failure, let's start by giving our year over to God and let him direct us!

Christmas greeting

2010-12-24T09:14:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas to all! May this Christmas be the most joyous and wonderful time of year, but let us never forget the reason why this season was necessary and thank God once again for the salvation that He provided through His son all those many years ago!

apologize for Christmas?

2010-12-20T19:36:00.004-06:00

This morning I was glancing through some of the entries from different places, and I read somewhere that a correspondent apologized for saying "Christmas" and it got me to thinking...Why does someone have to apologize for saying "Christmas"? Is there something offensive about it? Well if you go by the dictionary the word offensive means "causing resentful displeasure; highly irritating, angering, or annoying"....

And if you look at the true message of this season is that it is the birth of the One who told us in John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth and the life"....notice how He says it...the way (not one of many), the truth (not a philosophy), and the life (the only way we are rescued from death-and not by our own efforts" and this is something that certainly brings displeasure, irritation, anger, or annoyance....especially in 21st century America where "tolerance", "self-reliance" and "multi-culturism" reign supreme...

I guess that is why so many are trying to get rid of any celebration of this time of year...because it reminds us of what we really needed and the One who provided it for us...Apologize for Christmas...no way! We should be actually down on our knees thanking God that "He so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son" (John 3:16) to save us from ourselves and if there is an apology owed, it should be our apology to God for our sins and the acceptance of the free gift of salvation!

A humorous article....

2010-12-03T21:30:00.000-06:00

At this time of Hanukkah, I remember a humorous article written by my friend Chad Elliott... and I thought I would share....

Christmas and Hanukkah...The Differences

As someone who is about to become part of an inter-married couple, the subject of Christmas and Hanukkah is one of great importance. Kat and I have had a lot of talks about what we will do when the holidays roll around. With that in mind, here is a humorous look at the differences between the two holidays.

1. Christmas is one day, same day every year, December 25. Jews also love December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to the movies and out for Chinese food and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult a calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a donation from the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel (especially in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home.

2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most Jewish holidays: They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat.

3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, stereos, etc. Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks or the collected works of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.

4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc.

5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.

6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis.

7. Christmas carols are beautiful...Silent Night, Come All Ye Faithful. Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a party and dancing the hora. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal brethren. And don't Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?

8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods. A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes and onions. The home, as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.

9. Christian women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Jewish women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkes on Chanukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages.

10. Parents deliver presents to their children during Christmas. Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight nights.

11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary, Joseph and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our history.

12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews think, "Yossela, Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't sleep with her, and now you want to blame G-d? Here's the number of my shrink."

13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more commercialized. The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur? Forget about celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for 27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest, confess your sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a mere $200 per person. Better stick with Chanukah!

Hanukkah

2010-12-01T09:41:00.004-06:00

Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah (for those who want to know a little about it go to http://www.chabad.org/holidays/chanukah/article_cdo/aid/102911/jewish/Chanukah-in-a-Nutshell.htm or http://www.aish.com/h/c/ht/48969531.html), the Festival of Lights, the celebration of the victory of the Maccabees and the re-dedication of the Temple. But once you get past the latkes, the sufganiyot (both of which are making me hungry right now), the dreidels and the menorah, is something that was mentioned in my friend Chad Elliott's blog http://networkedblogs.com/bfPDi and that is about the power of the Lord....in remaining faithful to His promises and bringing light into darkness.....

In my case, bringing light into darkness was how he brought me though the times of my burst appendix and the recovery, first of all saving me from what was almost certain death (you have to remember that the night my appendix burst seven doctors told my parents that I was dying), and then during the time of recovery having His presence there (through His word, the fellowship of other believers etc....) and into healing for which I am very grateful for....

And in remaining faithful to His promises, a thought I want to leave with you...that without Hanukkah, there would be no Christmas....because the promise of God was to bring a deliverer through the line of Abraham and David, and had the Hellenists succeeded in their task, there would have been no Savior and no deliverance for our sins....so actually in a sense we as believers should celebrate this time as well because we see the faithfulness of God in preserving His people and through preserving His people, salvation was brought to you and me.

Alternative to "Black Thursday"

2010-11-22T15:00:00.001-06:00

It seems that the love of money has overtaken Sears-unlike other stores which at least are closed Thanksgiving morning and afternoon to give their employees a break to spend with their families, Sears has decided to be open all day Thursday. So it seems now we have "Black Thursday" joining "Black Friday" as days where people are encouraged to spend whatever money they have left in their pockets for Christmas gifts....

Well how about something a little different....something like Project Angel Tree. Remember there will be some who won't have a Christmas with their family, because a member of their family is shut away in prison. But we can help their families remember what the real reason for the season is by being a Christ-like example in giving to help these families...you can go to http://www.angeltree.org/deliverlove and donate there or and this is something that is new this year, you can help to be a fundraiser to help Angel Tree be able to give to families where they don't have a church that is helping Angel Tree this year at http://www.firstgiving.com/angeltree

Let's remind Sears and all these other stores where it seems that the love of money has overtaken love of family and love for others what this season should be about.....

Diabetes Awareness Month

2010-11-22T12:34:00.004-06:00

When I was in the hospital the first time (Feb. 2008-pre appendix burst), I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes...This month is Diabetes Awareness Month and I am putting in a link to an earlier blog entry and asking to test yourself in case you might think you have diabetes.....

http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/03/diabetes-awareness-day.html

Also Here is the link for the American Diabetes Association:
http://www.diabetes.org/

Thanksgiving

2010-11-18T14:54:00.007-06:00

In 1 Thessalonians 5 we are given three commands:

Rejoice always (v.16)
Pray without ceasing (I like the way Chuck Swindoll paraphrased this once "Pray with the frequency of a hacking cough") (v.17)
In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (v.18)

In one week, we celebrate the occasion of Thanksgiving and as I wrote in the previous entry, let us gain a different perspective on this day. So step away from the turkey, the mashed potatoes and stuffing, throw away the notion of this day (or weekend) of something that has to be endured and let us look at Thanksgiving from a different point of view.

Have family that come over and annoy you? Be thankful that you have family. Remember all those who are alone this day and those who serve us overseas that wish they could be with family.
Thinking that you may not have "enough"? Be thankful that you have. Remember those who do not have and have to go to an event (like the Raul Jimenez Thanksgiving here in San Antonio, or the Salvation Army) in order to even have something to eat.
What about your home...you do have one, right? What about those who are homeless-we may not "publicize" them as much as we used to, but they're still there...
Transportation that doesn't involve your own two legs?
What about the fact that we have a day to celebrate by eating and drinking and being with other people (no matter how obnoxious and bratty they are)....in other countries having a day to give thanks, or having food would be something that they would be extremely thankful for? And the food that we are whining and complaining about having for "leftovers" would be a feast for them....

Have you bothered to thank God for what He HAS blessed you with?

Two years ago, I was spending Thanksgiving with JP tubes and a colostomy bag sticking out of me. Two years ago, I had to spend the better part of 2 1/2 months not being able to eat or drink because when my appendix blew, it spread the poisons throughout my midsection and that had to be cleaned out. Two years ago, my living quarters consisted of a hospital room. Two years ago, I couldn't go to the bathroom or take a shower by myself....

So if you don't think that I'm thankful to have a whole body, being able to eat, having a family and being at home, all the "little things" that we usually take for granted, you are sadly mistaken...

So instead of glibly "thanking" God for the "surplus" that He has given you, TRULY think about what you have been given beginning with the sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross. Remember God was not obligated to give these things to us because we are Americans, or that we are better than anyone else (remember we are ALL sinners) but He CHOSE to give these things to us because we are His children and He loves us. Remember He could have chosen to give these blessings to another nation, another people....So be thankful and use this as a time to teach those who will be with you next Thursday to be thankful as well.

Holiday marathon or not?

2010-11-07T17:41:00.007-06:00

In the next two months, there will be five holidays that will happen in rapid succession: Veteran's Day on the 11th, Thanksgiving two weeks after that, then Hanukkah (and my friend Chad Elliott had a wonderful piece he wrote on the differences between Hanukkah and Christmas that if he doesn't put up-I'll put it here) in early December, then Christmas and New Year's Eve.

The reason that I call it a marathon is that it if not viewed properly, this time seems like a long race that has to be endured. And that is the key...viewing things in the proper prospective. The word "perspective" is defined as " the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it; objectivity: " http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/perspective. So seeing these days in the right point of view should make these days not only endurable, but something to look forward to.

The first day is Veteran's Day, where we honor those who have served our country to defend it from our enemies or those who wish to destroy it. This day is one that is close to me, because my brother served in the Army during Desert Storm in 1991. We also have to remember that not only did they serve our country, they saw things and went through things that people cannot comprehend. So when we honor our veterans of all wars, let us remember that "above and beyond the call of duty" is not just words to them, but an attitude...the same attitude that Jesus talked about in John 15: 13Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. And the same attitude that Jesus showed in giving HIS life for our sins...

So on Veteran's Day, let us honor the men and women who showed the attitude of Jesus and honor them for following His example....

My Dad's birthday

2010-10-26T12:48:00.003-05:00

Next Friday, the 5th of November is my Dad's 67th birthday (and him getting to 67 is due to the grace of God healing his body!) and I thought I would share a link to my Father's Day blog post to let you know how I feel....

http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/06/fathers-day.html

I think that is why the Lord healed my Dad of the cancer that he had....to fulfill the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians chapter 1.....

3Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort,
4 who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted by God.
5For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
6And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
7And our hope for you is steadfast, knowing that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.

So thanks Dad, and happy birthday!

A not forgotten man

2010-10-20T18:42:00.004-05:00

Hebrews 6:10- For God is not unrighteous so as to forget your work and labor of love, which ye have shown toward His name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.

One of the good things about Facebook is that I get to run into some old friends, and I mean from when I was young (at the age I am now, I even refer to my high school years as "when I was young"-but that's beside the point). One of the people that I have found and "friended" on FB is Karen Haynes, the widow of the first pastor that I had when I became a believer in 1980.

It was Pastor Haynes (who was a graduate of Florida Bible College) that was one of the men who had the idea to go to a Bible Camp for the youth at FBC during the summer. It was that camp that my uncle invited me to go in 1980 (of course hiding the fact that it was a Bible camp and telling us about going to Disneyland-which was a side trip [and how dense I was that I never really caught on about it until it was too late]) and on that trip I was given the Gospel by Dale Daffin and on July 31, 1980 outside of Columbus, Texas I was born for the second time.

And the thing that got me through the appendicitis, the colostomy bags (with the very early morning cleanings...),tracheotomy, the whole nine yards was the spiritual lessons that I learned- starting on that bus trip on that old blue school bus (oh what memories....). So while Richard Haynes, the man, may no longer be with us, the work that he did for and through Christ is still going on through those that he ministered and taught lessons to.....so thank you Pastor, for all that you did and to let you know that nothing you did was in vain....

straight-stick living

2010-10-11T12:41:00.005-05:00

One of the other things that I get to do now is to be editor of the SWIMS (Southwest Institute of Messianic Studies) online journal that comes out every three to four months (at least that's the goal) and I get to write an article for said journal....and the one that I will be writing for the upcoming journal is called "Straight Stick Living" and is based on the following quote by D. L. Moody....

The best way to show that a stick is crooked is not to argue about it or to spend time denouncing it, but to lay a straight stick alongside it.

And one of the best places I found to realize "straight-stick living" is in the hospital...because it is one thing to be able to win arguments and fight against evil with words and look good doing it. But when you have tubes sticking out of you, when nobody knows whether or not this day is going to be your last day, when you've had several bad days in a row...that is when you find out how real your faith is and that others will know the real you...whether there is something different about you or that you are a "pious poser". If you are a "straight stick", people will know and that is when real evangelism will begin and you will be able to share the One who makes all the difference.

So the challenge to us is....in every area of our life, be a "straight stick" and show others that you are different!

Rosh HaShanah

2010-09-05T10:14:00.003-05:00

In a few days it will be Rosh HaShanah, the Jewish "new year"-my friend Chad Elliott has a blog entry about Rosh HaShanah that explains what this time of year is better than I could....
http://chadelliott.wordpress.com/2010/09/04/a-wake-up-call-from-god/

But Rosh is important to me in that it was the first public appearance (Rosh HaShanah 2009) that I made after my surgeries and all of the medical crises of the previous 18 months. It was so wonderful that I got a chance to be with my friends at CBS and to finally get out of the house (other than visiting Dr. Metersky). The significance of Rosh is that it is a time of introspection and getting back to God (the "Ten Days of Awe"). That is the other reason that I picked it to be the date of my return-a time of introspection remembering what God had done for me and the celebration of my return to Him.

So for those who are reading, during this period of time please take some time out and reflect on what God has done for you and if you have strayed from Him, please come back to Him!

A new place to worship

2010-08-23T21:21:00.003-05:00

For those who read this and want a new church to go to I recommend Blessings Community Church-
http://www.blessingyou.org. and not because my uncle is the senior Pastor....but because he is "going out on a limb" and taking a tremendous step of faith.

For almost 20 years he had been working with Congregation Beth Simcha and something tells me that he would have been content with another 20 years there. However, the Lord seems to have called him to a new outreach. And he had a Abrahamic-type decision: to stay where he was or to step out in faith, not knowing which direction he was going to go-leaving the comfort of a family that loved him and going someplace new-listen to the voice of the One who called him. So he has decided to follow the Lord and go to a new place.

Now if you remember the story of Abraham, it wasn't easy being in a new place, but in the end he ended up with tremendous blessing and being the father of a nation. Now I'm not saying that my uncle will be the "father of a new nation", but he is seeing Him who is unseen and being braver than many who only see what is seen and don't take any chances. To paraphrase Robert Kennedy: "Some men see things as they are and ask 'Why?', through faith I see things that are unseen and ask 'Why not?'".

And I pray that the Lord will bless Jesse and this new work that he is doing for the Lord.

Fat Man 3

2010-08-04T22:23:00.004-05:00

If you've read this blog, you've seen the posts about "The Fat Man"....Well, I'm here to tell you, that because of said alter ego; I have to give myself shots in the stomach. Not insulin, but a medicine that is supposed to control my appetite and make sure that I don't eat too much.

In the end, there was no one else to blame-I could if I wanted to, but in the end the fault is my own. I did not take care of myself in the way that I should and now I am paying the price for that abuse. And it affects every part of my life, not just my physical health. This is the "wake-up call" that my physicians are giving me to take care of myself or I will be taken care of (by my body breaking down faster than it should).

But just as there was a punishment for me letting myself physically, there is a punishment for those of us who let ourselves go spiritually. I wish there was a medication that we could take to that could control our "appetites" for the things of this world, but there isn't. So then God designed a way to control ourselves, and that is the Holy Spirit, which acts as a guide to let us know what not to do and when not to do it.

But in the end when we don't take care to listen to the Spirit, what happens is that the voice becomes smaller and smaller and we end up a slave to the things that we shouldn't and it begins to destroy us, our families, our relationships etc....And we pay the price in every area of our life. When this happens, it should act as our "wake-up" call to get ourselves back in the right relationship with God or end up being taken care of (either by something happening to us or by God stopping us and putting a halt to our dangerous activity).

So like the old commercial used to say: "You can pay a little now, or a lot later"....in my case it is to discipline myself into eating better and taking care of the body God has given. In your case, it may well be discipline yourself spiritually and taking care of the Spirit that He has given to you. And oh by the way, if you don't, there will be no one else to blame but yourself.....

swimming and fear

2010-08-02T17:22:00.005-05:00

Last weekend I went on vacation to Galveston, and I was thinking of doing something that I had not done since at least 2007 (and maybe even before) and that is to go swimming. But I was afraid....not because I'm not that strong a swimmer (and it doesn't help when you are only 5'4" and not a strong swimmer...but because this is the first time that I had gone swimming post-medical crisis....I had taken showers, but being in a pool is an entirely different thing.

But in the end, I decided that this was my vacation and that I was going to go swimming. And in the end I had a good time and some wonderful time of relaxation.

It got me to thinking...how many great things do we miss out on because of fear? Fear makes so many things bigger than they should be and makes mountains out of molehills. There's an old saying "paralysis through analysis"...because we see what is there and we think that we can't do anything about it. So many of us instead of doing great and mighty things instead decide to limit our works to things that we can control and end up doing almost nothing.

How insulting is that to the King of Kings who has us in the palm of His hand? How insulting is it to Him when we say that there is something that we think is beyond His control, His care, or His power? He tells us "Perfect love casts out fear"....and perfect love is found in Him, therefore He casts out fear and gives strengh to those who need it. All we have to do is to attach ourselves to Him and take comfort that He will not steer us in the wrong direction or let us go.

So the question becomes, when are we really going to trust Him (knowing that He is greater than all things and that nothing can separate us from Him) and attempt to do things. We never know what we can accomplish until we say (through the Lord) to fear: "Get out of my way, God is my helper and with Him I am going to do great things for His kingdom!"

salvation & how it helps in a hospital

2010-07-21T16:02:00.005-05:00

In ten days I celebrate my 30th anniversary of when I came to know the Lord. At this moment, I am flashing back to an old school bus (painted blue) just outside of Columbus, Texas and hearing about how Jesus died for my sins and what I had to do was believe that He did that for me. And on that date, I came to know Him as my Savior and Lord.

And the great thing about it is is found in a verse in John 10:29: "My Father, who gave them to Me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of My Father's hand." And that served as a great reminder to me during 2008 and the times that I went through.... And there were those who tried to pluck me out of the Father's hand but....

Death wasn't able to do it....although seven doctors told my parents that I was dying and I was told by others that I was blue and my body was shutting itself down.
Discouragement wasn't able to it....When you are not allowed to eat or drink ANYTHING or having to breath through a tube in your throat....
Anger wasn't able to do it...many of the doctors, nursing staff and CNA's were great people, but there was one or two to undo all the goodwill built up by the others....
"Reason" wasn't able to do it...all of those people who say "Prayer does nothing"....trust in the hands of medicine....but where was "reason" when Anger, discouragment, depression, etc...came to attack me...did reason say "hang in there"....did reason bring my friends and co-workers in and give me words of encouragment...
Depression wasn't able to do it....when you spend day after day after day in a hospital bed, with limited (if any) movement and the healing process is slow and you wonder if anything is ever going to happen....

All of these things combined could not seperate me from the Lord who loved me and gave Himself for me. Nothing is able to take me out of His hand and those are not just words on a page said and written two thousand years ago, it is fact based on what I want through in a "real-life" situation!

Fat Man part 2

2010-07-11T09:18:00.005-05:00

A while back I wrote about the return of what I called "The Fat Man" http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/04/return-of-fat-man.html....

What I neglected to write about is the thing that is the most important item against neglect and that is I have to fight against him every day. Every war that we have as believers is a daily battle because the one behind neglect does not sleep at all, take a day off, or retreat at all.

So often we start to make progress, then think that we have the battle won. That is the most dangerous time, we get suckered into thinking that we have won a once-for-all time victory and then the enemy changes tactics and decides to go on a different path and we find ourselves right back to where we started and get frustrated. And that frustration is either taken out on ourselves (oh how many times have I done that!) or on others (if you wouldn't have distracted me, or given me wrong advice, etc....) or (incorrectly) on God.

The reason I put "incorrectly" is very simple, God has given us keys on how to defeat the enemy....but we either mix it with our own advice, ignore it altogether (thinking that the way to defeat the enemy is to accommodate it), or think of it as a "quick-fix" solution (try it once and then forget about it).

The way to achieve victory is to apply the keys that God has given us on a daily basis and to do it the way He told us to. Can you imagine what would have happened to me in the hospital had the doctors not treated me on a daily basis and the way that the treatment was supposed to go? I would have either ended up in worse shape or at San Fernando Cemetery being part of the groundwork there....That is why we as believers need to do what God has called us to do in the way He has called us to do it on a daily basis so that we don't end up in worse shape or dead to God being of no use to Him.....

miracle stick update

2010-06-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

If you've read my blog from the beginning you read a wonderful testimony from our friend Vayra in Israel called "From death to life" (http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/01/from-death-to-life.html).

Here is an update:
Thank you to all who kept asking me about my 'miracle' stick. I am finally sending an updated photo of it.
Sorry for the group email!

It has been growing so beautifully. 8 new twigs all together! I love its large, fresh green leaves.

It's been encouraging and fun to watch it grow. And I had this Scripture on my heart when I was sitting next to it:

Psalm 92
12 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

13 planted in the house of the Lord,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.

14 They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,

15 proclaiming, "The Lord is upright;
he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."

Be blessed and flourish! :-)

Varya

So for those who have been broken by life, there is healing and renewing and a hope that you too can be a "miracle stick"!

blog exhaustion?

2010-06-15T14:42:00.009-05:00

I haven't had a chance to check, but I imagine there must be millions of blogs out there being entered about anything and everything. And I can imagine that getting to read all these blogs must be exhausting. So I imagine that not that many people read this blog. The reason I say that is because I just noticed that if anyone had, they would have noticed that I put Father's Day as this past weekend, not the one coming up.

But then again I'm thinking....a person is having ten to hundreds of things happening in their daily routine and we get exhausted. And because of that we may not look at everything that is going on around them. And because of that there are things that happen that will never get noticed or looked at.

And they can be good things, such as:

-people having ideas like my friend Chad Elliott's school(http://www.blogger.com/www.trevecca.edu/socialjustice),
is doing to help those around them; especially after the floods that affected the Tennessee area this spring

-young children are being adopted from other lands where there is strife and hunger; such as my friend Nicole Galvan is doing this week;

- people are being fed & sheltered and given hope like the children being sponsored by some our congregants at CBS through the ministry of Compassion International

-the unborn are being saved and those who would try to kill them are being exposed; through the NRLC (National Right to Life Committee) and a very brave young lady named Lila Rose whose videos are exposing what Planned Parenthood is really doing to those who come in their doors....

-people are being evangelized-Jews (such as through the ministry of the late Moshe Rosen (thanks Chad for reminding me [http://chadelliott.wordpress.com/2010/05/23/remembering-moishe-rosen-1932-2010/]) and Gentiles (many different ministries) in many different countries

-and many other actions.....

Or they can be evil things; such as laws passed that make governments more tyrannical, people being tortured or killed for their faith in the most gruesome ways, people accused of crimes for the simple act of standing for what they believe in, cowardice being shown instead of stands for faith and freedom, the unborn being murdered by ways so terrifying that the practitioners would be put in jails for years if they did the same actions to people already born....dictators in other countries starving their people to death (and being tolerated by those who should oppose them), and many more violent acts.....

But just I double-checked the blog entry and saw what was going on; one day there will be a time that there will be a "double-checking" of sorts and it will be conducted by God almighty himself; Jesus spoke about it in Matthew 25:

31"When the Son of Man shall come in His glory and all the holy angels with Him, then shall He sit upon the throne of His glory.

32And before Him shall be gathered all nations, and He shall separate them one from another as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats.

33And He shall set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.

34Then shall the King say unto them on His right hand, `Come, ye blessed of My Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

35For I hungered, and ye gave Me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and ye took Me in;

36naked, and ye clothed Me; I was sick, and ye visited Me; I was in prison, and ye came unto Me.'

37Then shall the righteous answer Him, saying, `Lord, when saw we Thee hungering and fed Thee, or thirsty and gave Thee drink?

38When saw we Thee a stranger and took Thee in, or naked and clothed Thee?

39Or when saw we Thee sick, or in prison, and came unto Thee?'

40And the King shall answer and say unto them, `Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me.'

41"Then shall He say also unto them on the left hand, `Depart from Me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.

42For I hungered, and ye gave Me no meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave Me no drink;

43I was a stranger, and ye took Me not in; naked, and ye clothed Me not; sick and in prison, and ye visited Me not.'

44Then shall they also answer Him, saying, `Lord, when saw we Thee hungering or athirst or a stranger, or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister unto Thee?'

45Then shall He answer them, saying, `Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to Me.'

46And these shall go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into life eternal."

So the question is-which side would you rather be on? And next time, I'll try to do a better job of checking dates, so I don't put journal entries on dates where they shouldn't go......:)

Father's day

2010-06-11T17:11:00.004-05:00

On Sunday, it will be Father's Day. I know for many the word "Father" brings up many different images, ranging from happiness to anger and bitterness. Many of these come from the background that one was raised in.

Mine is somewhere in the middle. But the thing that I will always remember the most is the way my father was during the time in the hospital. I will always remember how at first, my Father was sickened whenever the wound nurse came in to change the sponges in the open wound in my abdominal area. But by sheer force of will, he began to learn to tolerate what was going on to the point where near the end, he became an unoffical aide to the wound care nurse. He would have all the instruments, sponges, and other things out ready for her. And he would even help in the procedures.

One of the other things that he did was to help was that, when I would be out doing my physical therapy walk, he would change the bed from top to bottom and be able to get whatever blankets I would need. He would be there every morning as soon as he was allowed (actually some days, he was there earlier), and stayed until late in the afternoon to be at my side and help me to take care things that I needed to do.

During that time, he became more than a father to me, he became in a sense, my left arm. My favorite memory of how much he had been appreciated was on certain days, he was given a free meal by the staff so that he wouldn't have to go out for lunch.

And in a sense, although I don't know whether or not he thought about it; my father was giving an illustration of the type of the love that our Heavenly Father has for us. He loved us and gave of Himself for us to take care of the need that we had, the need for salvation.

So no matter how our relationship goes (and at times it can go from one extreme to another), I'll always remember and appreciate what he did for me and the example that he gave....to me, to those he came in contact with....and I pray that he will hear the words "Well done, thou good and faithful servant" in relation to this time.....

How can something that small.....

2010-06-01T12:37:00.003-05:00

When you look at the human appendix, it isn't a large part of the body...a little less than 4 inches long (or about the size of my middle finger), yet when this "little part" of the body ruptured in my body on March 13, 2008, it affected the whole body, almost causing it to shut down permanently. It wasn't until this April that the last of the effects was taken care of....25 months later....and throughout all that time; there was a whole lot of pain and agony that I had to go through.

Now think about sin.....a "little white" lie, a careless thought let slip by, a moment of rash action....yet when it explodes and is exposed in a life, it can cause so much damage- to reputations, to lives, to marriages, etc...sometimes destroying these things in the process. And sometimes, there may be effects that last a whole lifetime and never get relieved. And you can ask those who have been victims of that damage and many of them can tell you that there was so much pain and agony that they are going through.

Yes, there is relief and there is forgiveness, but to be on the safe side and not go through all of those problems....think about what you are doing....before something explodes...and you go through agony when you could have been having joy....

something I'm glad didn't happen to me

2010-05-18T16:13:00.003-05:00

I was at AOL getting ready to read my e-mail when I saw this article of a woman who woke up in the middle of her surgery (http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/05/18/waking-during-surgery-like-being-entombed-in-a-corpse/?icid=mainmaindl1link1http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolhealth.com%2F2010%2F05%2F18%2Fwaking-during-surgery-like-being-entombed-in-a-corpse%2F). I don't know what my reaction would have been if that had ever happened during the surgeries that I underwent.

It is called "anesthesia awareness" and happens in 1 to 2 out of 1,000 surgeries that took place. Can you imagine waking up and being aware that people are cutting you up, taking things in and out of you, etc...I can only imagine what the experience of poor Carol (the lady in the story) must have been like and I pray I never will....

But there is another kind of awareness that it seems that some of us in the body are going through; we are seeing what is happening around us in the world and like the lady in the story we cannot do anything except maybe to scream and yell. However in our case, we have a difference.

I imagine how wonderful it would have been for this poor lady to all of a sudden be able to find some way to be able to let her doctor know what was going on and have it stopped and taken care of. In our case, we can do that. It is called prayer, we can call out to got and ask for His help in a situation. And we know that however He will do it, He will stop and take care of the problem for us. He will also one day take care of all of the stuff that is going on in the world so that we will never have need of "The Great Physician", but rather be with the Father!

JP tubes

2010-05-11T12:37:00.006-05:00

One of the things that I got very familiar with when I was in the hospital was something called a JP tube (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackson-Pratt_drain) of which I had at least seven (two on the right and five on the left). What the drain is designed to do is to draw out excess fluid from the body sucking it out of the body so that it doesn't build up and drown a person....

The same thing can be said about prayer...without it, we can be drowned by feelings, depression, anger and other emotions that build up and can overwhelm us. When we talk to God and release our concerns to him, we release the pressures, feelings and everything else and transfer it to Someone who is able to handle it in a better manner than we can.

So if you don't want to be overwhelmed by the pressures of the world; take the words of the writer of Hebrews to heart:
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

Mom

2010-05-04T13:26:00.005-05:00

I love the fact that in my mother's case, her birthday and mother's day are only a few days apart (in this case her birthday is on the 5th and Mother's Day is on the 10th). The reason so is a sense of double-appreciation...one for her birth and the other that she chose to give birth...to me and my brothers and sisters...

One of the things that I like most about my mother is that we have grown close to one another...she and I are more like friends than mother and son...we love watching our San Antonio Spurs (although I must admit [with a smidge of pride], that there are times where she is a bit louder than I am)...Dallas Cowboys....and although we may disagree about the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue; we do so in a kind a civil way. We have even taken our vacations together (I remember the Oklahoma-Arkansas-Texas trip and the small town trips of summer the most....)

I am happy that I am one of the people that she leans on to help her with her schedule and payments and reminders. I thank God so much that when I was in the hospital that she was there not only to support me, but also to help those that were helping me (she was a CVN-Nurse's Assistant) and was able to help with some of the questions that I had; using her training to cut through the "smoke screen" of things to let me know the truth.

The reason why I am so grateful for my mom is that in a time where the role of motherhood is attacked and denigrated; that she is an example of what true motherhood is all about!

So to you all out there, if you haven't had a chance (other than Mother's Day) to thank your mom and show her that you love her; do so while you have a chance......

support the Snyders....

2010-04-26T20:09:00.002-05:00

The reason that I have this on the blog is because I am standing with a family that had one of the most its sacred moments-the laying of rest of a loved one-disturbed by "people" (and I use that term very loosely) who used the occasion to proclaim the message of their "congregation" (Westboro "Baptist" Church in Kansas) and their "pastor"; that the reason this young man who served his country was killed was the judgement of God upon him for serving a country that supports homosexulality.

What made it more tragic, is that when the family sued; some judge ruled that the disruption caused by WBC was protected under "free speech". While I am not a fan of homosexuality, I am appalled by the actions of WBC for the following:

Their message that God hates sinners...this is not true...it is sin that God hates, not those who He created. If God were to hate sinners, then He wouldn't have sent His Son to die on the cross to pay for our sins. When Jesus was here on the earth, the ones who thought they knew God because of their "religiousity" were the ones who were condemned the most by Him. It is a shame when a body of "believers" who are supposed to follow the example of Jesus are the one who are acting like those whom He condmened. And if God hates sinners, then we should be hated every single day, because we even as believers do still sin. And by inference then shouldn't God hate the people at WBC as well?
That they use a time of grief and sorrow to shout their message. This is a time of mourning, a family has just lost a loved one; a spouse no longer has their loved one; children are without a parent. The last thing that they need to hear is that they "deserved" to die as a part of some "judgement", the last thing they need to hear is someone yelling and causing a disruption. How does that show the love of God?
They are causing a false witness for the church-Many people will never darken the doors of a church and the only witness that they have is the way that believers act. When people do the things that this "congregation' does; it causes a image that Christians are nothing more than hateful bigots...and by inference that Christ is nothing more than a hateful, judgemental tyrant, when He is the exact opposite. One act of hate unravels hundreds if not thousands of years of ministry and takes just as long to repair (if you don't believe me, how often are the Crusades and Inquistion brought up as examples of how Christians are). They may claim to be sharing the "message" of God, but in reality who is the focus on? It is not on God, but on them.
They do not share their message in a Godly way-Where is the Scripture reference that we are to get in someone's face and tell them that God hates them and be disruptive and disrespectful. I wonder what kind of Bible they read?
And have you noticed that they are eager to condemn the person being laid to rest, and to blame the country; but they do not share the Good News, share requests for repentence, or anything on how to come to God?

I'm sorry WBC; but you are doing as much damage to our nation and the cause of Christ if not more than those whom you condemn. At least the unbelievers have a small excuse. God's Word has given us the guidelines on how to be as believers and if you choose to not obey it, then you are just as guility as those you judge!

no "reason" at all

2010-04-22T15:13:00.004-05:00

There is a group that is trying to get the National Day of Prayer changed to the "National Day of Reason". I think that this is one of the most ridiculous ideas that has ever come out of the human mind. The reason that I say so is because of my experiences of 2008.

On March 13, 2008; I nearly lost my life in the emergency room at Christus Santa Rosa. As a matter of fact, during that evening seven doctors told my parents that I was dying. Now I wonder-what would a person of "reason" have told my parents that night if I had died? What does a person of "reason" say to those who have lost a loved one due to an accident or a tragedy?

I don't recall at any time during the four months or so that I was in the hospital with an open wound where my belly button used to be, a person of "reason" come in and try to tell me that everything would work out in the end. How would they express it and say it in such a way as to bring comfort and relief to someone who may be depressed or angered?

I don't recall at anytime after I went home and had to have a machine attached to me (to let me know when I was having problems with the wound dressing-a blessing and an irritation), a person of "reason" coming in to give advice, wisdom, etc...

What kind of advice would they have given to handle the frustrations of leaking colostomy bags that happened in the middle of the night? The frustrations of every other day, having the wound dressings changed (making a person feel like a stuffed teddy bear)? The frustrations of having JP tubes sticking out of the body draining fluids out of your body? The frustrations of having fistulas explode out of the body out of the sudden? What would "reason" do to bring relief?

In the end, "reason" would have just driven me crazy, or maybe suicidal or just angry for the rest of my life? So in the end, I would rather be a person of faith (and be considered a fool) than a person of "reason" who is one....

subtle sign

2010-04-17T12:56:00.003-05:00

There are times when God will send you a subtle sign of His presence. For me one of those times was when I was at Lifecare Hospital. Being there day after day tended to get a little repetitive and discouraging...so the Lord sent me a sign. It was not a big, overt thing saying "hey look at me". It was something very simple, just like the still small voice He used with Elijah.

I had a room with a view of the "courtyard" and could see the other rooms of the hospital and I noticed that the frame of the outer windows were in the shape of a cross. It was God's way of saying to me, "Son, I am with you...my Son suffered so that you wouldn't have to...I will never leave you or forsake you." And it was the first thing that I could see when I opened my windowshades in the morning....

That little reminder kept me going and gave me encouragement and served as a reminder. So when you have a chance, look for the subtle signs that God gives to remind you of His presence, that He is there with you and that He has you in the palm of His hand, and as Yeshua (Jesus) said, My Father, who gave them to Me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of My Father's hand. (John 10:29)

Yom HaShoah

2010-04-10T09:17:00.006-05:00

Normally, when thinking about the 11th of April, I usually think about my birthday. But this year there is a remembrance that is even more important. Tomorrow is Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Remembrance Day) in which we remember the six million killed in the concentration camps during the in the Holocaust.

The idea of remembrance is so very important in that we keep alive the story of what happened during that time and remember those whose lives were so ruthlessly cut short. Remembrance is so very important in that the farther we get away from those times, the easier to say that it did not happen, but remembrance reminds us that it did, and it must never be allowed to happen again. We must continue to hold the memory of these department men and women for as long as time continues. We must continue to remember to refute the lies and propaganda that are told. We must continue to remember so that we can let our children and grandchildren know that this happened and that they must guard against this happening. We must continue to remember so that no one is ever forgotten and that no one's life was lived in vain.

I recommend that during this time that you visit the nearest Holocaust Museum near you (even if you have to do it online such as at http://www.ushmm.org/; take in the exhibits, do not turn away from them and remember-let the memories of what happened burn into your mind to the point where you do not forget...or you can go to the Shoah foundation website (the Shoah foundation started by Steven Spielberg) at http://college.usc.edu/vhi/ , take in the testimonies and remember.

Do not let the six million have died in vain, keep their memory alive, keep it burning for future generations, so that this will NEVER happen again.

"grand" uncle

2010-04-06T11:47:00.008-05:00

This weekend, I became a grand-uncle for the first time. My nephew and his significant other became the parents of a 7 lb. 19 inch baby girl named Kayla Ann Lozano. But that gets me to thinking about the word "grand"...and at http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/grand;
one of the definitions was noble or revered-for example: a grand old man.

Noble or revered...the way that happens is to maintain a testimony in which they can say "Here was a person who had character and was one that why should try to follow". And to do that is to get back to the way that I was and to avoid what I wrote about in the earlier posting-"The Return of the Fat Man"-http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/04/return-of-fat-man.html .

When John the Immerser called for repentance, the Greek word that was used was "metanoia"; which meant "change of mind"; i.e changing the way one thinks. Which in my case means turning from being "wishy-washy" about my faith and other things to being someone being sure and committed.

Because I see what is happening with the next generation and I see a little girl that will be affected by the way that I live-one way or another. And whether or not she sees someone who is truly "grand" depends on whether or not I decide to truly follow the one who gave the best example for all of us....

return of "The Fat Man"

2010-04-03T06:00:00.003-05:00

I went to the DGD (Diabetes and Glandular Disease) Clinic for my follow-up on Monday and everything checked out well, except for one number. And as you can infer by the title, you know what that one number was. How could this have happened? There were many "factors" that I could have blamed....but what it boils down to, the only one responsible for the gain was me...Because I knew what to do as far as eating the right foods and the right amounts, I knew what to do as far as exercise goes, but yet I neglected them and allowed whatever ground I had taken to be retaken by the enemy.

What had happened was neglect, pure and simple. I remember reading Norm Schwarzkopf's autobiography It Doesn't Take A Hero, and he mentioned about what had happened when he took over command over a battalion that become known as "the worst of the Sixth", and he found out why...it wasn't that the soldiers weren't any good, it was that it had been allowed to deteriorate into a bad group by the neglect of its commanders. And because of that, it was placed in a position where the enemy could act with impunity.

I looked up an old message and saw the following:
"I looked up the word (neglect) and came up with the following: “to fail to do something, especially because of carelessness or forgetfulness”... We have seen the in newscasts the result of neglect; whether it is of an animal or of a human being….when it is by accident it is sad, but when neglect is deliberate, it escalates in a tragedy of unbelievable proportions. And as sad as physical neglect is, spiritual neglect is just as tragic."

We have been given great gifts talents and abilities, but we also have been given a great responsibility...to not neglect what we have been given and to continue to use it in the Father's service. Paul in 1 Corinthians 9 talked about "keeping himself sharp":
24Know ye not that those who run in a race all run, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain it.

25And every man that striveth for mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown, but we an incorruptible.

26I therefore so run, but not with uncertainty; I so fight, but not as one that beateth the air.

27But I keep control of my body, and bring it into subjection, lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

In 1 Timothy 4, he warned Timothy about neglect:
14Neglect not the gift that is in thee,

If we neglect what God has given to us, we come in danger of not doing his work and under the condemnation of what is told to us in James 4:
17Therefore to him that knoweth how to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

We are in a warfare, and when we neglect ourselves, we leave ourselves open to the attack by the enemy by "sleeping on post". Oliver North in his autobiography Under Fire, told how he would rouse a soldier who had fallen asleep. He would take his metal helmet and hit the asleep soldier in the head just enough to wake him up. He would remind them that if he had been the enemy he would have slit his throat... And with many of us unfortunately, God has had to do the same thing with us...get our attention one way or another, and warn us that if we stay asleep the enemy will come and get us.

So the warning to us is to stay awake, not neglect what has been given to us, so that we can be aware of what the enemy is doing and not let "the Fat Man" (our old nature) return!

A thought for this season

2010-03-31T06:00:00.002-05:00

During this time of the year when we celebrate Pesach (Passover) or Resurrection Sunday (I rarely refer to it by that other term),one of the attitudes we should be having is gratefulness. According to http://www.dictonary.reference.com/ the word grateful means: "warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" and when I think of a kindness received, I think of Pesach (Passover) 2008.....

It had been a month since my appendix had burst and I was NPO (hospital terminology meaning nothing by mouth-in short, I could neither eat or drink), and my midsection was a big open wound, so there was definitely no way I was going to be able to attend the annual CBS seder, which was tragic (since I love the fellowship and the celebration), but there was a couple-James and Elise Hubbard, who came to my hospital room, on the night before the seder and we had a celebration of the Seder nevertheless....

Now remember I couldn't eat the food, but that was not the issue, the issue was that someone cared enough to come and visit me and because of that it brought joy to me in that hospital bed.

There is an old saying "A joy shared is a double joy, A sorrow shared is half a sorrow", you want to double your joy and gratefulness this season? I recommend visiting a friend in a hospital who won't be able to share in the joy of the season, help out a family who has a family member hospitalized by maybe cooking a meal for them or being a shoulder to cry on....you never know...through your help you may be fulfilling the words spoken by Yeshua in Matthew 25:
31"When the Son of Man shall come in His glory and all the holy angels with Him, then shall He sit upon the throne of His glory.

32And before Him shall be gathered all nations, and He shall separate them one from another as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats.

33And He shall set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.

34Then shall the King say unto them on His right hand, `Come, ye blessed of My Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

35For I hungered, and ye gave Me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and ye took Me in;

36naked, and ye clothed Me; I was sick, and ye visited Me; I was in prison, and ye came unto Me.'

37Then shall the righteous answer Him, saying, `Lord, when saw we Thee hungering and fed Thee, or thirsty and gave Thee drink?

38When saw we Thee a stranger and took Thee in, or naked and clothed Thee?

39Or when saw we Thee sick, or in prison, and came unto Thee?'

40And the King shall answer and say unto them, `Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me.'

Pesach

2010-03-28T11:52:00.007-05:00

Tomorrow night at sunset the feast of Pesach (known as Passover) begins. This is the celebration of the deliverance of the people of Egypt from Pharaoh. The importance of this feast is shown in the fact that it is one of three "pilgrim" feasts in which every Jew was required to come to Jerusalem to celebrate this occasion.

There are a great many things that can be taught (and learned) from Pesach (which was celebrated by Yeshua (Jesus). But I just want to start with one....

For me, this year's Seder (literally "order", but referring here to the ordered ceremony and meal that usher in the week of Pesach-Jewish New Testament Commentary, David H. Stern; p. 78), which takes place at my uncle's house will be a great privilege for me to attend. One of the great themes of Pesach is freedom, freedom from Pharaoh, freedom from sin, etc... In my case the freedom that I will have and the reason that this year's Seder will mean so much is because it will be the first time since 2007 that I will be able to celebrate the Seder without having to worry about any medical problems. In 2008, I was in the hospital and not able to eat (so I was not able to have any of items of the Seder). And in 2009, I had to worry about problems with my bag, so I was not able to celebrate fully the joy of Pesach.

But now I am free from those worries, and able to celebrate the full meaning of the freedom that I have been given, freedom from worries about health, freedom from fear of the unknown, freedom from shame, and a great many other things. And that freedom was not given to me cheaply. It cost my Father in Heaven the life of His Son to give me these freedoms. I just pray that as I celebrate tomorrow that I can truly begin to appreciate what He has done for me and for all those who are His.

Diabetes Awareness Day

2010-03-23T09:24:00.003-05:00

One of the things that I found out before my appendix burst was that I had Type 2 Diabetes...so I am encouraging all of you who even glance at this blog to check to see if you might be at risk...If what I had to go through can keep one person from pain and suffering then, it is worth it....

yelping of a dog....

2010-03-22T15:33:00.004-05:00

I'm listening and I'm hearing "our three little girls" (i.e.-our dogs Sunny, Dot and Brownie), whimpering and then I hear the sound of my Dad telling them to be quiet (one of the more irritating habits of other people in the house-but that's another story). The reason I think that it is irritating is that they are communicating a need and can think of no other way to express it.

I think now of the days when I was in the hospital, when I,or a family member, or a visitor would come and communicate the needs that we had on our heart. Whether it was healing, finances or whatever, there was no other way for us to express our need than prayer.

The thing was that I am glad that God did not tell us to be quiet; as a matter of fact; He encourages us to pray to Him, as a matter of fact I love how Chuck Swindoll paraphrased 1 Thessalonians 5:17: "Pray with the frequency of a hacking cough". And I think of the words of the song "Let Us Pray" by Steven Curtis Chapman:

I hear you say your heart is aching
You've got trouble in the making
And you ask if I'll be praying for you please
And in keeping with conviction
I'll say yes with good intentions
To pray later making mention of your needs
But since we have this moment here at heaven's door
We should start knocking now, what are we waiting for?

CHORUS:
Let us pray, let us pray, everywhere in every way
Every moment of the day, it is the right time
For the Father above, He is listening with love
And He wants to answer us, so let us pray

So when we feel the Spirit moving
Prompting, prodding and behooving
There is no time to be losing, let us pray
Let the Father hear us saying
What we need to be conveying
Even while this song is playing, let us pray
And just because we say the word, "Amen"
It doesn't mean this conversationi needs to end

Let us pray, let us pray, everywhere in every way
Every moment of the day, it is the right time
Let us pray without end and when we finish start again
Like breathing out and breathing in, let us pray

Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence
As our prayers draw us near
To the One who knows our needs
Before we even call His name

Let us pray everywhere in every way
Every moment of the day, it is the right time
Let us pray without end and when we finish start again
Like breathing out and breathing in, let us pray

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HNQl0a4Zcs&feature=PlayList&p=4BAE7FE8F26C32A8&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=17

so if you've got a need that you need to communicate, feel free to express that need and be glad that you don't have a Father that tells us to be quiet!

letter to the Editor

2010-03-17T14:23:00.003-05:00

This doesn't have anything to do with my healing...but it has to do with something else that is close to my heart-the nation of Israel....I read a letter in the San Antonio Express-News "Your Turn saying that the US should cut off aid to Israel because they wanted to build houses on land that is theirs to begin with...so I sent the following in response (whether or not the SAEN will print it out is another matter altogether)....

Carl D. Scott in his letter (Your Turn-March 17, 2010-'Cut aid to Israel') called the Israeli announcement about settlements an "affront to the United States and Vice-President Biden." The affront is the arrogance of some to say to a foreign nation (last time I checked Israel was not one of the United States) what it can and cannot do with its own land. The nation of Israel is not a child to be spoken down to and told what it can and cannot do. The policies of the United States and the United Nations have done nothing but shackle Israel-How would Mr. Scott feel if the Israeli government told him that he could not dig in his garden unless he received approval from them? And if he did dig, that the government would cut off funding to his country because of it. I think that Mr. Scott would say that it was his garden and he would do with it what he pleases, no matter what others may say.

Well then the same logic should apply in reference to a sovereign nation that is struggling for its existence against enemies and trying to take care of the needs of its own people. If I remember correctly, the United States did not have governments or a world body telling it what it could do or not do with the land that we had. So why then are we doing to other nations that which we would not have done to ourselves. What is the motive of our government and the United Nations in telling Israel what to do? It is to promote true peace or to keep a nation weak and defenseless so that it can be picked upon and wiped off the face of the earth?

Sincerely,
Edward Lozano

Two years of the journey

2010-03-15T18:30:00.003-05:00

On Saturday, I had an "anniversary" of sorts...it was two years ago when my appendix burst and put me thisclose to passing into the Lord's presence. My congregational leader Randy Shapiro has a quote that I love hearing about God, that "He sees the end from the beginning." Sometimes though, he allows the path to be hidden. The reason that He does so, in my very humble opinion, is in the joy, experiences, and other things that happen on the journey from beginning to end.

Michael Card in his song "Joy in the Journey" puts it like this:
There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And all those who seek it
Shall find it (Proverbs 8:17)
A pardon for all who believe
Hope for the hopeless
And sight for the blind (Isaiah 42:7)

I think that the reason that God allowed me to go on the journey was to strengthen me to help others, to strengthen my faith in Him, to remind me of who He is, who I am, how people are, to remind me of the love of my family (physical and spiritual) and a great many other things. That is why I decided to start a blog-to share what has happened/what is happening on this journey and to share a little of what has been given to me.

my tree of faith

2010-03-09T16:59:00.008-06:00

On Saturday, I went to go visit my nephew in Houston. While we were there we went on the "Azalea trail", which was a tour of several houses that had flowers in bloom. But when I saw one tree, it reminded me of the writings that Vanya had written about in her letters....

To see life coming from lifelessness and know that God has His hand on it to show it as a display of what He can do...that He can overcome anything and make it brand new. The question for us as believers is-How often do we remember that He has overcome anything? We should remember what Rav Shaul (Paul) wrote in Romans 8:38-39 (Complete Jewish Bible)[notations mine]:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or other heavenly rulers, neither what exists (present) nor what is coming (future), neither powers above nor powers below, nor any created thing (and everything is created in one way or another)will be able to separate us from the love of God which comes to us through the Messiah Yeshua, our Lord.

and what it says in Hebrews 13:8-
Yeshua the Messiah is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Right now, I am going through a time of aimlessness with my work situation, but with faith, I can see that the same Lord who brought me out of the shadows of death, can certainly bring me through the shadows of unemployment (Thank you Bruce, for reminding me to remind myself). And He can do it in such a way as to bring life and testimony out of lifelessness.

P.S.-while I am writing this, I am asking prayer for a couple of friends of mine.

Chad Elliott-a good friend of mine; I found out from his wife Kat that he is in the hospital with acute pancreatitis.It looks like he will be in the hospital until Thursday with about a 2 week recovery period. Pray that his time in the hospital will be one where he is ministered to and that the physicians and those attending him will take good care of him. and pray that the recovery period will be "speeded up" (if the Lord allows) and that everything is taken care of.
Jeannette De La Paz-just recently went through surgery for cancer and it appears that everything went great. Pray that she will recover quickly from the surgery, that she continue to be blessed by her friends and her CBS family. And that everything was removed and that she will be able to use this as a testimony of the healing power of Adonai Rapha (the Lord who heals).

great joke

2010-03-04T13:12:00.004-06:00

I got this from WND (WorldNetDaily) and had to laugh; because it reminded me of some of the bills that I got.....

Posted: March 02, 2010
8:49 pm Eastern
JOKE OF THE DAY
WorldNetDaily

Just ducky
Health-care scam
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely a 100 percent certifiably dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, looked at the bill.

"$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab report and the cat scan, it's now $150."

update on "From Death to Life"

2010-02-27T10:47:00.005-06:00

just an update on http://1ncisfan.blogspot.com/2010/01/from-death-to-life.html

For those who remember my "resurrected" tree - it has been growing so beautifully, and is beginning to look like a real tree now. It has grown huge
leaves in just one month! (the 1st photo was taken a month ago).
Its leaves are so large that they completely cover the top of it and you can't even see any more that it's broken.
If all its buds continue to develop well, it will have at least 10 branches. When I found it in the street it only had one branch that was dying...
With this speed of growth, I may not be able to keep it as a house plant for too long :-), I will soon need to plant it outside so it can grow freely and fully develop into what it was created to be. God is the Author of Life! So neat to see a new life developing from something that looked totally dead!

Hag Purim Sameah!
Varya

Glad to see that God can take something that was nearly dead and bring it back to life (to borrow from "Mike & Mike in the Morning" -back and better than ever") in a way that shows His hand in things.

A shower

2010-02-25T12:16:00.002-06:00

Last night, I did something that may seem ordinary....I took a shower. Now that might seem like nothing to you, however if I were to repeat it slowly and explain it; then it may not be so ordinary.

For the first time since March 12, 2008 (almost two years), I was able to step into a shower (not a bath given by nurse or a "sink shower" [bathing myself by sink]) by myself (not having anyone around me to help in any manner) and take a nice shower without worry (about water getting into a bandage or a wound and not having to cover any part of my body in order to do so). It felt so wonderful to feel the water coming down and to get soap and shampoo and clean myself off!

The reason I go on so about a shower is that it was a big sign that showed that I had been healed completely and was able to get back to some of the things that I used to do before my appendix ruptured.

However it was also a privilege. The reason I say that is that I was able to take a shower with hot water. Imagine those places where hot water is a treat (rather than an every-day occurrence). I was able to step into a shower with a sense of privacy) Imagine being a place where cleaning oneself is at a river where the water is maybe not clean, where there is not really a sense of privacy or the water is used by animals for drink and other things. And then I will be able to take a bath this evening. Think about being in a place where cleaning yourself is not a daily occurrence but maybe a once-in-a-while thing because of other matters...

Think about how much we have been blessed here and if you get a chance to help others who do not have (whether it is here in the US or abroad) think about doing so and being a blessing to others so that they can have the privilege of a shower...or food...or maybe even life itself....

What you can learn from a colostomy bag

2010-02-18T11:20:00.006-06:00

One of the things that was a "side effect" of my appendicitis was the fact that for a period of about a year I had to wear a colostomy bag (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostomy_pouching_system for what this bag is.)

Now the bag was attached to me by a special adhesive-sort of like a caulk. Which was good, however, the only bad thing about the adhesive is that after a few days, it would become brittle and hard and begin to crack. The bad think about that is because of that, my colostomy bag would leak and I would end up with waste all over me instead of the bag. You then had to clean up the mess, replace the adhesive and get a new bag (which is not the most fun thing to do at 3:15 a.m.-either in the hospital or at home [especially if you had to wake someone up].)

So why do I mention all this? Well, a spiritual insight can be found as such:

When we come to Yeshua (Jesus) and ask Him to be our savior, we are "caulked". However through, going through our lives, the daily stresses, lack of time in the Word and prayer...our "caulk" in sense becomes hard and brittle. And because of that, our lives begin to leak and we end up with the "waste" of the world all over us and it becomes a big mess.

So we then have to have to "replace" our caulk. We do that by confessing our sins to each other and to the Lord (1 John 1:9-"If we acknowledge our sins, then, since he is trustworthy and just, he will forgive them and purify us from all wrongdoing."-Complete Jewish Bible). And in the Lord's case praying at 3:15 a.m. in the morning is something that won't inconvenience Him. In fact I believe that it is something that He looks forward to.

And since He is trustworthy and just, He will purify us. It is a wonderful thing when He cleans us up and says that we are forgiven and cleansed.

So if your life is begin showing signs of cracking-stop and ask the Lord to repair the cracks, clean you up and replace whatever needs to be replaced. Your life will be so much the better for having done so.

Ironic ad

2010-02-11T06:30:00.005-06:00

I was in the website for members of my old high school (Oliver Wendell Holmes-Class of '84-Go Huskies!) when I noticed that they had a ad from Google: "Signs of Appendicitis."

Now my question is....where was it 24 months ago when I really needed it?

Then again...had the ad been there...would there be these insights that I have received over that time? So maybe it was a good thing that it wasn't there.....

Reminds me of something that Dr. Luke wrote about in Acts 16:
"They (Paul and his companions) traveled through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, because they had been prevented by the Ruach HaKodesh from speaking the message in the province of Asia. When they came to the frontier of Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia; but the Spirit of Yeshua would not let them." (verses 6-7 Complete Jewish Bible).

Maybe Paul was prevented by the Spirit either because he was not ready for what would happen there, or perhaps the Spirit had a greater work for them in another region as we read a little later in the Chapter...

So maybe I didn't see that ad because the Spirit knew that God's greater work would be done through a "wounded bird". So maybe the Father knows best after all!

A song that talks about what I've been through....

2010-02-10T23:00:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite Third Day songs gives insight into what I've been through....

Mountain Of God

I thought that I was all alone,
broken and afraid,
but you were there with me,
you were there with me.
And I didn't even know
I had lost my way,
but you were there with me,
yes, you were there with me.
Tell you opened up my eyes I never knew,
that I couldn't ever make it without you.

Chorus:
Even though the journey's long,
and I know the road is hard.
Well the one who's gone before me,
He will help me carry on.
And after all that I've been through,
now I realize the truth
that I must go through the valley
to stand upon the Mountain of God.

As I travel on the road,
you have led me down,
you are here with me,
yes, you are here with me.
And I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
that you are here with me,
yes, you are here with me.
I confess from time to time I lose my way,
but you were always there to bring me back again.

~chorus~

Bridge:
Sometimes I think of where it is I've come from,
And the things I've left behind.
Well, of all I've had,
what I posess,
they can't quite compare,
with what's in front of me,
with what's in front of me.

Even though the journey's long,
and I know the road is hard,
well, the one who's gone before me,
he will help me carry on.
And after all that I've been through,
now I realize the truth
that I must go through the valley,
to stand upon the mountain. . .
well, I must go through the valley,
to stand upton the mountain. . .
yes, I must go through the valley,
to stand upon the mountain of God.

And a video of the song....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz-cRVvGe88

my favorite story

2010-02-06T20:15:00.003-06:00

My favorite story of the time that I was in the hospital is as follows...

It was within the first two weeks of me being in the hospital and I was asked by my Dad if I needed anything else. Well, I moved my hands as closed together as I could (despite the fact that they were in restraints). Everyone tried to guess what I was trying to gesture. Somebody said that maybe I wanted to use a computer. Another jokingly said that maybe I wanted to play an insturment. Finally, my Dad asked if I wanted prayer. And I nodded my head yes.

The reason that it is my favorite story is that it shows that even though our bodies may be bound and limited, the Spirit that is within us is not. One way or another the Spirit will find a way to communicate the needs that we have to others as He does to our Heavenly Father.

quietness

2010-02-01T12:52:00.003-06:00

Hospitals can be a quiet place.....a little activity here and there and then moments of sheer boredom. In my case, activity while the nurse had to change the item that was in my IV, take my blood sugar count, my blood pressure and temperature, but then there would be a two to three hour break (you have to remember that for the majority of the time I was in the hospital, I couldn't have anything to eat so there were no breakfast, lunch or dinner breaks).

And it would have bothered me except I learned how to use that time of quietness to an advantage:

do some reading (the Bible or a book that was either brought for me, or one that I requested)
work of crossword or search puzzles
listen to an I-Pod a friend brought for me (thanks, Neka!)
pray for others (yes, even while lying on my back I still could pray for others
do Bible study and reading

These things would keep my mind working and occupied and off of the fact that I was spending time with tubes in my body, or with an open wound in my abdomen, or any of the other things that would have dragged me down to depression. Because if you are not careful and do not have your mind focused; depression, anger and all other sort of emotions will drag you down and destroy you as a patient and as a person. It is better to get your mind focused-it may be keeping it occupied, get a plan together in relation to your treatment, focusing on what you will be doing once you get out of the hospital-anything to keep it from drifting away....

So the key with quiet is to either let it envelop you and take you as its prisioner or use it to keep yourself sharp and take it as a prisioner.

Gratitude

2010-01-27T13:51:00.003-06:00

One of the remarkable things (in the mind of others) was that; despite being in the hospital I would continue to write out my tithe checks from the disability payments that I would receive each month. So why did I do it? Out of obligation? To impress others with my spirituality?

No! It was gratitude. If you notice the word it has the word "attitude" (minus one t) meaning: manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, esp. of the mind (from http://www.dictonary.com/). And to me, the first two letters "gr" could be short for "grateful": warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful: (also from http://www.dictionary.com/).

So in short gratitude is: "having manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc. with regard to being warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits, received" or just in one word "thankful". What did I have to be thankful for?

Yes, I had tubes and other things sticking out of me. I had a time where my only nourishment came from a tube coming through an IV (for 4 1/2 months). I couldn't bathe myself. There was a time where I was in restraints and couldn't move around. A period of time where I was being "breathed for", etc....but at least I was still alive.

If nothing else, I was thankful for that. And to use a term from Pesach (Passover), Dayenu (it would have been enough). And for me it would have been enough for me to still be alive. But I was blessed to be in a place where there are hospitals, blessed to have nurses, doctors, CNAs, and staff who kept an eye on me, blessed to have parents that loved me enough to take me to the hospital, etc.....

So if God loved me enough to care for me, should I show my thankfulness for His love by sharing the blessings that I have been given through the tithe, this blog, etc.....

From Death to life

2010-01-23T21:42:00.006-06:00

This is something I got from an e-mail from Varya, a wonderful friend in Israel and I thought was something that I would share.....

This is something very special that touched my heart deeply this last week:

I found a broken tree trunk in the street on my way home about three months ago. Its branches were all broken, but I took it home because it was beautiful and I was hoping maybe one branch would survive. It didn't, so I had to cut it off and just left this stump at home for some reason, and then almost forgot about it. For about three months it looked totally dead... and now, look, what happened - it budded! all of a sudden I saw one big bud and then about 5 more small ones all over it! It is so beautiful and encouraging to see how life prevails in all of His Creation. No matter how dead it may look, God can bring it back to life some day!

The nature so reflects His character and even His plan of salvation. Isaiah 11 clearly speaks about the Messiah and refers to Him metaphorically as "a shoot" that "will come up from the stump of Jesse" (Jesse - the line of King David: Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth, Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of King David).

Here are the photos of my resurrected stump :-)

This year may we all see a lot of beautiful resurrections in our lives, in the lives of our families and friends, and in the lives of the people of our nations!

Many Blessings,
Varya

The real date that will live in infamy....

2010-01-22T13:34:00.003-06:00

PS-I happened to notice what today is and I was struck with the irony.

I'm here because there were people dedicated to keeping me alive. However there are "doctors" out there dedicated to making others dead. Was the difference that I was a "person" and they are not? It shouldn't after all-"a person's a person, no matter how small"- (and if the widow of Dr. Seuss doesn't like the line being used for a pro-life stand; too bad-he shouldn't have written it!) and science has shown that an embryo is a person.

So if we are to have true health care reform-shouldn't it be dedicated to making sure all are born alive and that they have the right to as long and healthy a life that they should have? If not, then when each person is born, along with our social security number, should they assign us a cemetary plot as well?

So much for my "ed"-itoral. I'll get off the soapbox now...and get ready for the rest of my day.....

End of the road?

2010-01-22T13:18:00.005-06:00

I was in Dr. Metersky's (surgeon and all-around good guy)office filling out some insurance papers yesterday, when he let me know that he put my "return-to-work" date for March 1, 2010. Or appoximately 24 months after the trouble with my appendix all began.

While one half of my brain is celebrating, the other half remembers what has happened the last 24 months with other promise dates having been dangled in front of me like a carrot and then taken away. An example was a surgery that had been set for the last week in July, but had to be postponed when one of the assistants to the surgeon was out of town.

So I have learned that all dates are as firm as jello and to write them down in pencil. In the book of James we are told "Instead, you ought to say, 'If Adonai wants it to happen, we will live' to do this or that." (James 4:17 Complete Jewish Bible)

So I'll remain cautiously optimistic. As Ronald Reagan used to say; "Trust, but verify." And wait until March 1st rolls around. If I go to work that day, it'll be good. If not, it'll be good too...at least I'm not spending the day being part of San Fernando Cemetary....

24 months of a wounded bird

2010-01-21T15:53:00.000-06:00

Why "wounded bird"? Well actually one of my nicknames is "Eagle" (which has my initals in it[egl])...that's the bird side, the "wounded" side is from what I had to go though the last 24 months with the pain in my body.

Kind of hard to believe that it has almost been 24 months since the start of my bout with appendicitis/perotinitus (you would have figured that I would have learned to spell it by now). Just checked and it is spelled peritonitis. (ha, ha)

During that period of time I spent times in and out of a couple of hospitals, had at least 7 doctors tell my parents that I was dying, had some fun and not so fun experiences with doctors, nurses, staff, etc... and learned some things along the way, some of which I'll share and then from there it'll probably be like other blogs where thoughts, opinions etc... are shared.

Speaking of something learned.... going through hospitalization can be extremely frustrating and lonely. So one of the ways to combat it is something that my parents put together while I was going through my time in the hospital. What they did was get a journal (just a regular blank writing journal) and have everyone who either was working on or visiting me come in and write something in the journal.

That way whenever I felt lonely or weary (and when you spend day after day like I did, you get to be lonely), I had a source of encouragement because there was a reminder that there were people that were encouraging me, supporting me, praying for me, or doing the same for my parents. And nothing picks up your feelings remembering that there are people who care and want to see you again.

So if you've got someone in the hospital, find something that will keep them encouraged and remind them that they have something/someone to live for.